I'm not the one you think I am

*Revalis POV*

The last few days were pure perfection. I was with Mipha, achieved new goals in training, and I must say, the food here is actually very delicious. But... I feel empty again. I'm awake since 2am and I feel like I won't make it out of bed today. Why is this happening now? There's no reason. My anxiety just always comes back at random instants. I'm a mess of feelings, which won't let me go. Again not hungry, not thirsty, just drowning in distress. But hey, I'm at Zoras Domain, by lunch time at the latest I must be together with Mipha, Sidon and their father and eat and be happy like nothing happened. Well in fact nothing really happened. Just my anxiety from the past that's overwhelming me over and over again.

I look absolutely hideous. Must come from the deprivation of sleep. My hair's a mess and I can barely even open my eyes. Tired but can't sleep. Great. I hope Mipha won't check after me now. Yea, she usually checks a few times a day if I'm okay which is very cute, but can also be very annoying. It's not without cause that I live outside of Rito Village. Ugh, she can't see me like this. I cannot allow her to see my weakness. Again.

After getting rid of my messiness as good as possible, I was ready for the day which starts with...lunch. Already. Because I couldn't get up earlier. I'm acting as always, maybe a bit grumpy and not very talkative but still like the Revali they know. I saw Sidon with the same energy as everyday, wanting to play all day. I was not in the mood for playing games, which I also expressed very clearly I guess. He backed away. I don't know how but I guess my face doesn't look the happiest though I'm faking a smile. Maybe I'm just looking pissed. I'm overthinking again. About how I appear to others and how they judge me or can read my mind or emotions. It's a bit scary sometimes.

No one really talked to me all day long, they probably knew that I wasn't in the mood. I was alone most of the day too, which is actually normal, just that I wasn't training or outside, no, I hid again in my room, hoping that no one comes by.

After "eating" dinner, which I not really did, I know I'm not a great role model, Mipha wanted to talk to me. Of course.

Mipha: Hey, are you okay? You seemed a bit...off today.

Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or-

Revali: I'm fine. Just had a bit of a rough night I guess.

Mipha: You wanna tell me what happened?

Revali: It's really..nothing to worry about.

Mipha: Revali I can see that you're lying.

How can you just...break me that way...

Revali: ...how-

Mipha: Your eyes...are very special...they cannot lie to me.

Revali: *sigh* I don't need help.

Mipha: I never said that you do. Just know that I'm here if you need me.

Revali: Hmph. I know.

Why don't I just accept her offer...she already saw me crying once...I...I don't want to look like a weakling again...but maybe she also doesn't think that-no! She would see me again with other eyes. I don't want that. But maybe I do? Ugh I can't order my thoughts. Again. It's always the same fucking shit.

*Miphas POV*

It's always the same game. Faking a smile, never wanting help.. Sometimes he really gets on my nerves. But maybe he just needs more space...or trust.

As I walk down the corridor, I decide to turn around again. I just don't accept Revali's behaviour anymore. Gently, I open the door. He's sitting on his bed, his back turned away from me. As though he couldn't see me, he sensed my presence.

Revali: *sigh* Can you just stop getting on my nerves?

Mipha: Please, I just care about you. Why do you have to be that way?

Revali: I don't care if you care. I'm just- everything was perfect, wasn't it? And now this frustration comes back!

Mipha: Maybe you think everything was perfect...but it needs time to process certain things.

Revali: I can't waste my lifetime with this. I don't want this anymore.

Mipha: It's gonna be okay, I promise.

Revali: Oh you're such a smart alec.

Mipha: ... I just know that there will be a better place, a better life in the future. When you're at your deepest point, it can only get better. That's what I learned.

Revali: I'm not sure if I want to see a future.

Mipha: What- please, you're scaring me.

Revali: Don't worry, it's not like I'm going to harm someone.

Mipha: You're also "someone".

Revali: *sigh* I know that.

Mipha: Revali?

Revali: Yes?

Mipha: I gotta ask you something.

Revali: Well, out with it.

Mipha: Are we friends?