Focus On Me | Yeongyu ?

taehyun's pov ~
why can't i stop liking beomgyu? why am i so jealous? what for? i don't even have the fucking guts to introduce him to my friend. i'm so pathetic.

but here we are, right in front of beomgyu's door. i took a deep breath. my heart started racing so fast and i don't know why. it's so easy! i just have to stand there and introduce them, that's it.

so why can't i calm down?

is it because beomgyu and i haven't talked at all after we...kissed?

but that shouldn't matter at all. he did say that we would still be friends. it shouldn't be weird.

"hey, are you alright?" soobin asked. he awkwardly patted my back to make me feel better.

"yeah, whatever. let's just get this over with."

"you don't have to do this if you don't want to, for whatever reason. even though he's your friend and you've known him for a long ass time."

i rolled my eyes. why is this idiot so petty all the time?

"shut up. we're doing it. today's your birthday," i told him, which made him shut his mouth.

i finally knocked. in about a minute, he opened the door.

"oh! hey taehyun! i missed you..." his voice got quieter after noticing soobin.

he probably hates me right now because i brought him with me. his crush.

"hi. i'm soobin. you're beomgyu?" he asked.

beomgyu didn't speak. he couldn't speak because he was so surprised. he was speechless and in shock.

"yeah...he already knows you. anyways! let's go inside," i lightly pushed both soobin and beomgyu to get inside.

and then i saw yeonjun.

"oh hey...i didn't know you were here..."

"and i didn't know you were coming here..."

he hates me too. after all, huening kai did say that he knew about the kiss too. soobin walked in behind me and yeonjun narrowed his eyes after seeing him.

"ugh! first taehyun and then you?! please, anybody but you," he aggressively raised his voice. beomgyu held his hand and whispered something to him.

he calmed down after hearing what beomgyu said.

"look, we aren't here to argue like little immature kids," i annunciated.

"you know what, taehyun let's go. this was a bad idea. you should've told me that your friends were rude." he started to walk away but i held his wrist.

"you brought us all the way here, therefore you're going to talk to them. i'm not turning back. this is on you," i whispered so the others wouldn't hear me.

beomgyu was still holding yeonjun's hand.

i wanted to leave, but i couldn't because after seeing yeonjun act this way, i wanted us to get along. this wasn't my plan. my plan was for us to like each other.

so i forced myself to say stuff that i didn't want to say at all.

"listen here you fucking little pieces of shit. today's soobin's fucking birthday and all this man wants to fucking do is to meet my other friends but you all had to ruin it! you shouldn't hate him for something that's not even his fault! you don't even know him at all! he has such an amazing personality and even though he could be awkward at times, i still love him for who he is. all you guys know how to do is to be jealous and to be honest, i'm kinda jealous too. i want to stop it, but i can't. so i'll just have to keep living like a pathetic loser. even though i am jealous, do you see me hating on you or insulting you? no. so can we all just stop this stupid ass jealousy and hatred and at least try to get along? and beomgyu, please talk to soobin. you can't live like this forever. you need to communicate with him, dumbass. tell him how you feel."

yeonjun and beomgyu looked at the ground in embarrassment and soobin hid his face with his hands from being flustered by the stupidest little thing. as always.

"y-you like my personality?!" he tried to whisper but everyone obviously heard him from how fucking loud this idiot was.

"i guess...you're still stupid though..."

"...a-anyways...honestly, i don't even know why you guys hate me. i don't even know you. what did i even do? is it because that guy recorded me and basically stalked me? i have nothing to do with that. it seems like if anything, you should be blaming him, not taehyun and i."

"...i'm sorry. you do seem like a cool guy, but...i don't like you anymore...i never did actually...i forced myself to like you because i was too afraid to find love. that's why i never spoke to you and just looked at you from afar. c-can we still be friends though?" beomgyu shyly asked.

well that was hella unexpected. i for real thought that he was in love with him! i can't believe i didn't notice...his feelings towards him seemed so real!

we were all silent for a while but after a few seconds, soobin started to speak again.

"of course we can! but...you know, i'm kind of disappointed. i really want a guy to like me. i wanna explore my sexuality but it's not your fault at all that you don't like me..."

"what are you talking about? you have taehyun," yeonjun blurted out.

i hit my head in embarrassment and leaned against wall.

"um! a-anyways! are we all good now? can we all be friends?"

they all nodded.

"meh...to be honest, i still kinda don't like you but...i'm very willing to like you...so i'll try, i guess," yeonjun complained. i rolled my eyes.

"shut the fuck up you stupid hoe. anyways, we'll be going now."

we all waved at each other as soobin and i left.

soobin took a huge sigh as he put his hands over his head.

"that took all of my fucking energy out of me...they were so hard to talk to! i hate socializing..." i laughed at his stupidness.

"i'm glad you guys finally met."

"yeah...but...d-did you really mean what you said back there?"

"what?"

"about my p-personality..." i looked away from his eyes in embarrassment. his hands were wide open and to be honest, i wanted to hold them.

so i held his hand.

"maybe..."

we continued to talk while walking home and holding hands.

...it was comforting...