Always Down

Chapter 20 ? The dead end

I rammed my pointed heel into his shoe which was placed onto the accelerator. This caught him off guard and I took advantage to shove his foot away from the pedal and quickly apply onto the brake. The car came to a stop with an indignant screech, metres away from the edge of the cliff.

With a sigh of relief, I rested my head back and slid my hands off the steering wheel to the sides, hearing a throaty groan to follow from behind me. I shifted back to my seat and dipped my head sideways, finding myself in line with his deepened stare.

"What's wrong with you? Are you out of your goddamn mind?" I bristled, my hands running through my hair.

His face distorted into anger and with his hands bawled into fists, he slammed them hard onto the driving wheel, making me slightly jump in my seat from the sudden outburst.

"You're asking me what's wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you!" He returned.

His words came as a surprise. "How is that my fault? You're the one who was going to throw us off the cliff!"

"Why didn't you do anything? Why did you fucking let him touch you!" His voice was rough and loud and the rage in his tone could make you shudder.

I wrinkled up my brows in confusion but said nothing. I didn't know what to say, let alone explain to him that I didn't do anything because I didn't want to pose any problem to his Mafia. If I had done something, that man would've come for his Mafia and that's the least thing I wanted. Christian was right, he did risk everything.

He held my arm, not in a hurtful way but enough to bring my attention back to him. "Why didn't you push that fucker away, Mia!"

I tilted my head to the side to avoid his stare. "I couldn't do anything-"

"Fuck this bullshit!" He gritted, landing another punch on the driving wheel. He then turned back to me. "You're a trained fighter for fucks sake! I know you could've taken him down!"

You see, with him near me, my emotions were screwed. Part of me felt happy knowing he wanted me to do something and that he knew I could have done more. Something about him was indistinct and he left me confused, agitated but did it really matter- I had no idea.

"Now that I think about it, you wanted him, didn't you?" He demanded, his tone accusative.

"What-" I spoke softly, in need to know his thoughts. Though it was a question, it sounded more like a desperate call.

His jaw ticked. "You heard me. You wanted him to fuck you. You obviously wanted his filthy dick inside you but that clearly didn't happen."

"You don't know what you're saying." I whispered under my breath, scarcely able to process the rush of his words.

"Like a fool I was, I got in between. I put everything on line for you. I risked everything and for what? I should've realised that sooner that you're a fucking mistake. You aren't worth anything!"

A constricting ache held my throat and I could feel the tears filling my eyes to the brim, blurring my vision but I couldn't let them fall- not now atleast. His words were blunt and hurting but again, shouldn't I have expected this from him? I was familiar with these insults before and they never did offend me, then why now? Why did I have a sudden care about his words?

"Fucking say something-" He stopped himself when his eyes found my face. What seemed like an impossible thing to happen, his stare softened.

Looking over to my lap, a solemn tear fell down my cheek. My body looked calm compared to how knotted my mind was. I closed my eyes, swallowing the tightening pain in my throat. I hated to have that feeling of helplessness craddle me. I wiped my eyes and looked back up. I was told tears were supposed to make you look weak but guess I was, from the very start.