If Only

Three

"Are you sure?" I open my eyes to meet his as he asks for confirmation. I nod in response and sit up to fiddle with his belt.

"Charlotte," He repeated the question, "Words."

"I'm sure." I swallow the lump in my throat, and as his slacks are removed, he's left in his blue briefs. My fingers reach for the band that held them up and as I helped pull them down my stomach dropped, It wasn't going to fit. He could see it on my face, I was scared. I'd never seen a dick in person, I wasn't afraid to admit it. But now there was one, and it was almost overwhelming.

"Come on, a guy like me, you had to think more of me, right?" A smirk traced his lips.

"I should've figured big ego, big-"

"Hey, let's not talk about the ego..." He said playfully and then removed his shirt.

"Condom?" Nodding, he opened a drawer and ripped it open with his teeth. I stared at his body; it was unreal, chiseled if anything. He was proof that god did have favorites, and now I was running my fingers down that man's abs.

I'm guided back onto the bed as the condom is slipped on. He leans over me, and his eyes never leave mine. I feel pain as he swiftly thrusts in, I gasp at the senation and close my eyes. Then he stopped, and as I opened my eyes, he looked shocked.

"You're a virgin?" Nervously, I bit my lip in confirmation.

"There is no going back now." I took a deep breath as my fingers grazed his jawline, which could cut. If I'd told him prior, I now knew he wouldn't have.

"I would've done more for you if I had known" Shaking my head I shushed him, I wanted it this way, I didn't want anything more. 

"You have to finish what you started, Nathaniel... Just fuck me" I took a sharp breath as he continued, he pulled me closer and his lips met mine again, entering her deeper a soft cry escapes my mouth. He pushed into me further as his pace began to pick up, and I clutched the sheets. 

He sucks on his fingers while looking at me, and then I watch as he moves them down and then presses down on my clit and my back arches. 

"Nathaniel," I moaned as he took my lips, devouring them. The pain only lasted a few moments, but I knew the morning would be a punishment in itself. He explored my body in such a sensual way. Like was something so divine, like artwork. It was like I unlocked a new world. A world where pain can be soothed with pleasure. 

"Oh god-" I'm breathless. My stomach cuts me off, and a burning feeling pools as he continues pummeling in as I begin to tighten around him.

"Good girl," He soothed me as my body began to shake; he held me tight as he rode me out. I buried my face in his chest as I found my release. I felt him pulse in me, and soon he grunted, and his thrusts grew slower. 

He removed himself as I was out of breath, and within minutes, I found myself on the brink of sleep.

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The sun peeked through the blinds as I slowly woke, and opening my eyes, I froze. His hand was draped across my body, fuck. To the best of my ability, I slowly and quietly slipped out of bed. My feet met the hardwood, and as I looked around his room, I was amazed. It was huge and the windows displayed a perfect view of New York. 

I spot my dress on the floor and grab it. My thong was nowhere to be seen. I glanced back at him in bed, but as I walked faster, I bit my lip, trying not to make a noise. But the soreness I felt in my thighs was hell. My legs jello, but quietly, I escaped his room and went down the hall, passing several others. Shocked as I stood at the top of the staircase, I slowly crept down and found myself in his living room. I spot my shoes thrown on the floor next to my dismantled clutch. 

I pressed the button to the elevator, exiting quietly, taking deep breaths. The events from last night started to flood in with Nathaniel. I couldn't. I'd ripped off the band-aid and lost my virginity to some man who I'd never see again, most likely.

I knew it was best to skip breakfast and the awkward confrontation when the morning came. It would be nice to be in last night's position once more. He was beautiful, and the way he felt was something else, but I knew better.

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I rode the elevator up to my apartment, gripping the wall handle as the floors went up to 14, and finally stopped. I winced as the elevator bounced and the doors opened. I walked down the hall and fumbled with my key, but before I could open the door, it opened for me as Grace stood smirking down at me.

"She arrives!" She exames me up and down, this was a walk of shame.

"Oh my god..." Grace looked back as Megan stared at me. " Have you taken your maiden voyage?!" she whispered in excitement, gaining an eye roll from me.

"Get away from me," I groan as the two of them begin to giggle.

"You have!" Megan gasps. You've taken your maiden voyage with some hot piece from the bar." She looks at Grace proudly.

"Me and Meg saw his hand up your ass," She teased.

"I really hoped you tapped that ass" My eyes widened at Megan's words, "What Mama's proud!" Pushing past Grace, her arms wrapped around me, "Celebratory dinner tonight on me," Meg said, kissing her cheek. It was weird she was making it this big of a deal, I didn't see it worth celebrating.

"It's not a big deal," I mumble.

"By the way, you're walking this morning... That says otherwise. Give us the details at dinner; leave nothing out! Now I am off to the gym." Megan grabbed her clear water bottle and keys.

"Love you, babe." I slipped past Grace as Megan left and went to my room. I shut the door and locked it behind me. My thighs were killing me, and as I lay back in bed, I thought of him. It was almost weird how gently he was with me, he wasn't an asshole. Instead, this man saved me and consented.

But I knew I was a fuck to him, and Nathaniel would be nothing but a memory.

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