If Only

Charlotte Crawford

2 months later

Holding her in her arms was the best feeling. Sitting in the nursery in the rocking chair with her snuggled into me was the best feeling. Caroline was still so small in my arms, grasping onto my brown hair.

"Are you mummy's little girl?" The sound of my voice made her smile as she slightly moved. She was the cutest little thing in her blush pink onesie, which her aunt Belle bought her.

The summer rain outside grew louder as the storm passed through the city. I always loved mornings like these, but now they were extra special with her here. Feeling a set of eyes on me, I looked to see him leaning against the door frame, staring at me "Thought I'd let you sleep,"

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? You should be getting the rest," he said, coming into her nursery and pulling a stool in front of us. "Are you ready for tonight?"

The tears welled in my eyes at the thought alone "I don't want to leave her alone, she's been with me since I had her" We had a gala to attend tonight, the first time we'd step away from Caroline since birth,

I was more nervous to go out in my postpartum body. I lost weight, though Nate didn't want me to. He loved me no matter what I looked like, but I couldn't help but let my insecurities cloud my judgement.

"Sometimes it's good to step out and spend the night with my wife dancing and drinking," I giggled at the thought of it. "You've never seen me drunk; what if you hate me, find me invincibly annoying after one too many glasses of wine."

"Easy fix I send you in a car home and have Celine tuck you to bed" I scoffed, he would just ship me off that easily "I'm only kidding tesoro, I don't know how scared I should be?"

"You know I barely drink, but three glasses of champagne may do the trick." I looked back down at little Caroline and handed her to Nate. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" I glanced at the time.

"I had to shuffle through some deals late last night, so I get the day with my baby girl and the official and rightful CEO of Bartlett Publishing Company." I dropped the lilac purple blanket I was clutching as a smile formed on his face.

"Harrison and I negotiated; I basically forced him out. Baby, it's all yours. Do what you please with it when you're ready to return. For now, I have people in place for you, waiting for you to come back someday." I brought my hand to my mouth, allowing a soft chuckle to escape.

"You got your company back, I couldn't be more proud. You can still do freelance for papers, but it'll be sitting there waiting there for you when you're ready."

"Just when I think I couldn't love you anymore, you go and do something such as this." My hand made its way to my chest as it heated. "I don't know how I found myself so lucky," he intertwined his hand in mine.

"I like the way your hand fits in mine," my cheeks turning into an embarrassing shade of crimson as he spoke, "you always make me blush so god damn much."

"It's cute" Care placed her head to his nipple opening her mouth causing us both to burst into laughter "how could she possibly be hungry again I just fed her" another fear of mine.

I'm Caroline's main food source, and I'm leaving her here with bottles instead of me. I wasn't against bottle feeding; I just didn't want her to get confused or used to it.

"I'll feed her," he told me as he passed her to me. I adjusted my top, allowing her to latch onto me. What time do I have to be ready?"

"Four and then we will leave. You should expect someone at the door. I have to quickly go finish up a deal with my father, Leonardo, and then he and Celine will come to watch Care." He drew his hand up from my shoulder through my hair, pulling me in for a kiss.