Always Down

Chapter 35 ? Beginning to an end

"No, you dont!" I shouted, out of despair. "I'm not the one I've been pretending to be for months. I'm not some orphan girl that just happened to run into you in that fighting arena. I've been lying to you this whole time!"

He stiffened.

"My real name is Mia Santiago." The words came out soft, almost sucking all the air from his lungs in a single breath and leaving him drained. "Alvaro Santiago, he's my foster father and Rhys, my step brother. He planned all of this from the beginning— right from the day in that arena. Meeting you was never a coincidence."

He didn't say a word, leaving me to notice his balled fists on his sides.

"Rhys was so blinded by revenge after the death of his father. He wanted to kill you and take over your mafia and that forced him to make me a pawn of his game, a game that I knew nothing of. He never told me the truth about your mother, about what Alvaro did to your father, to you."

I let a tear slip. "I did it because I had to, not because I ever wanted to. I wanted to be free of any ties to the Santiago and that's what he promised to offer me for this but when you told me the truth, I didn't want to lie to you anymore but I didn't have the guts to tell the truth either."

I lowered my head, my voice cracking. "I regret whatever I did to you. I never wanted to be part of this revenge. I never wanted any of it, Hades."

The silence hovered in between us, betraying and taunting, the wild torrent of rain coming down on us. A clicking sound heard and the cold tip of a barrel was pressed against my forehead. I looked up from his pressuring hold around the gun, to his eyes, unflinching and frightening.

"I should've pulled this trigger back then, maybe it would've saved me some grief." He bristled.

I didn't say a word, not one because I deserved this. I deserved the worst for breaking his heart, for betraying the person who loved me. Seeing his hatred for me, it looked like he didn't, not anymore. His thumb poised over the trigger, his knuckles white from the tightening pressure around the gun. He looked unsure.

His indecisiveness agitated him, his reluctance spiked his anger. He couldn't— he threw the gun to the side, the metal clattering across the asphalt and strode over to me, his body standing close. With his demanding grip curling around my jaw, a painful hiss escaped my mouth when he lifted my face up to meet his.

"None of what we had was ever real, was it?" He brushed his lips against mine, his voice heavy and pained. When I looked up, the one tear rolling down his cheek shredded my heart to pieces.

My chest throbbed under the weight of the guilt, under the burden of his words. It was a punch to the guts. How could he say it wasn't real? It was, it'd always been for me. I wasn't supposed to be attracted to him, but I was. I wasn't supposed to fall for him, but I did. I wanted to scream the words at him but I didn't, I couldn't— I was a coward.

Then he pressed my jaw hard, his damped eyes devoid of any emotion. The helplessness was long gone and left in its wake, a cold and cruel stare, one filled with hatred. He shoved my face out of his hold and walked away. I dropped to my knees, my palms hitting the puddles of water.

I cried, cried and cried.

A footstep neared closer, then another. I didn't lift my head to look at whoever that was. The guilt was enough of a reminder of what I'd done, perhaps willingly, for my perceived sake. The shadow crouched, then the shadow of his hand reached out to lift my chin and a tear slid down my cheek. He looked conflicted, hesitant when he wiped the tear with his thumb.

"Riven, I'm sorry." I whispered, the rain dousing down my trembling voice. "I'm so sorry."

"Do you regret whatever you've done to him, to us?" He asked, his tone stoic but the despair in his eyes showed otherwise.

I lowered my head to my lap, my eyes stinging from the tears. "I regretted every second of it."

He sighed in frustration, his hands sifting through the mass of his damp hair. He didn't say a word to refute my saying. Maybe a minute went by, or two before he held my face, making me look up.

"Come on, stand up." He urged, wiping the tears with his thumbs.

"Do you seriously think he's mad at you for betraying him?" He demanded, then paused to reflect on his nonsensical choice of words. "I mean, logically speaking, yes but he's clearly hurt. He believes that whatever existed between you two was a conspired façade. He wanted you to prove him wrong but you didn't."

I squinted my eyes at him. "How could anything I say make this better for any of us, Riven? Didn't you hear what I said? I'm your enemy's sister. I played a dirty part in this game."

"Step sister." He corrected. "And yes, I heard that the very first time. You don't need to flaunt that up my face. It's much of a trouble to find you related to that bastard."

He drew a sigh, then stepped to hold my shoulder. "He loves you more than he's willing to hate you, Mia and I know you do too. You can still fix this. You don't have to carry this guilt anymore."

He smiled. "And perhaps if we're lucky enough, the chance of him throwing you in the cell and putting me in a coma for helping you would be slim."

"You're risking everything for nothing, Riven." I returned.

He pulled me in for a side hug. "You knew the consequences of telling the truth and you still chose to do it. You've played a part unknowingly in his messed up games but that's over now. You chose Hades over Rhys, isn't this enough for me to side with you? I'll take this chance."