you're my one and only ; yeongyu

soobin and kai were walking home together, pinkies interlaced as they shared their wireless earpieces with each other.

kai took the left earpiece and soobin takes the right, and the earpieces blasted songs from their shared playlist that they made together, and to soobin, this was everything.

soobin hates to lie, but when it comes to kai, he lies effortlessly.

he lies about not having wireless earpieces, when in actual fact, they were buried in his bag.

he lies about not bringing his house keys, but they were in his pocket the whole entire time.

he lies about not bringing his wallet, so he could share a drink from the same straw with kai.

but most importantly, he lies about his actual feelings towards kai.

the two have been close, joined at the hip when they first met each other. taehyun was their mutual friend, and they met each other at taehyun's birthday party when they were kids.

soobin hasn't told anyone his sexuality, not even his closest friends. he identified as pansexual, and was just too scared to come out.

he first had a teeny crush on kai when they became friends. soobin liked the way how kai laughs that ear-piercing laugh whenever something funny happens, and how his eyes would light up whenever soobin gave him a new plushy.

he tried convincing himself that he didn't have a crush on kai, but instead just treated him as a younger brother. however, the way his heart flutters, the way how he becomes so whipped for the younger whenever he's talking, and his laughter was like music to his ears.

the love grew tenfold when they had their own private sleepovers. they normally had a pile of pillows in between to separate them whenever they share a bed, as they didn't want to invade each other's personal space. however, soobin would always wake up the next day, only to find the pillows scattered all over the floor and a sleeping kai cuddling him, his light snoring filling up his ears.

and that was when soobin was certain that he had fallen for kai.

there were days when he would think to himself, wondering if it really was worth it to have a crush on his best friend.

what if he doesn't like me back?

would he push me away and remove me from his life when i come out to him?

what if he becomes my first heartbreak?

those days were the worst, and soobin would just ask himself those questions, and those questions would cause him to overthink.

there were nights when he would have an overnight call with kai, the younger sleeping first while soobin would be curled up in a ball in his bed, trying his best to not burst into tears.

he didn't want to lose kai, as a friend.

but as days and months go by, a strong sense of guilt ate soobin's insides, and it's telling him to confess to kai before it was too late.

soobin contemplated long and hard, and he tells himself that he'll confess when the time is right.

and maybe god had this planned beforehand, because the next song that was queued was soobin's own demo song that he recorded and sent on kai's birthday.

when the instrumental of "fairy of shampoo" rang in the duo's ears, soobin hears kai humming softly, which sent chills down his spine. he sounded angelic, and it meant the world to soobin to hear him sing.

"Whenever I see her, I'm not lonely
Even with my sad heart, it disappears far away
She's my fairy of shampoo
From this moment on, I will love her

The one I watched from afar all by myself
You've always been my dream

Whenever I see her, I'm not lonely
Even with my sad heart, it disappears far away
She's my fairy of shampoo
From this moment on, I will love her"

soobin remembers how he wrote the whole song within 2 hours, and how the only thing in his mind when singing and writing the song was just kai kai kai.

the song ended after a while, and kai's statement after the song made soobin's heart flutter.

"i love your falsetto."

"t..thank you."

"where did you get the inspiration from anyway?" kai asks, giggling lightly. but something in the laugh sounded a lot hollower and emptier than usual.

"someone that i have had a crush on for a while now." soobin says, not daring to look at kai in the eye.

"oh really? who's the lucky girl?"

it's not a fucking girl you donkey.

"it isn't a girl." soobin blurts out, and his eyes widened after his statement.

kai stops walking and soobin looks at him, and he had a bewildered look on his face.

"so....a guy?" kai asks, his face suddenly brightening up. soobin was beyond confused, why was he smiling like that?

"yeah, a guy."

"do i know him?" kai asks, sounding terribly excited.

it's you.

it's you.

"it's you!" soobin confesses, and now the red hot shame came running throughout his body. the guilt was back, stronger than ever, and the little demon in his brain was chiding him for saying something so shocking in the middle of nowhere.

fuck, i fucked up.

kai didn't reply, or soobin thinks he didn't. his eyes were glued on the floor, hot tears of shame building in his eye sockets, he couldn't possibly look at kai now after looking like a hot mess.

"i..i'm sorry." soobin sputtered out. oh he wanted the ground to swallow him whole and make him disappear from this universe. now kai's going to think he's some fucking freak.

one tear slipped out of soobin's eyes and he laughs coldly, wiping it off.

and then another.

and another.

and another.

soobin never openly cried in front of anybody in a long time. he preferred to bottle his emotions in his little special jar, and he would only break the jar when the cost was clear with no one in sight.

soobin could feel kai's panic and shock when he started weeping softly in the middle of a empty pathway, and if he wasn't having an emotional moment then, he would have definitely laughed.

kai finally decides to wrap his long hands around soobin's back and rubs soobin's belly in circles, something that he only did on "special occasions". he didn't say anything, but only continued to rub his hand in circles on soobin's tummy until he calmed down.

it took a while of soothing to make soobin's weeping to die down to soft whimpering, but kai was so patient that it just made soobin want to cry all over again.

"why aren't you calling me a freak?" soobin asks, voice scratchy and raw.

kai just stands there, still rubbing soobin's tummy and resting his head on soobin's broad shoulders.

"if i were to call you a freak i'll have to call myself a freak too." kai laughs, which instantly makes soobin pull kai away from him.

"what the fuck?"

"yeah you heard me."

soobin's red rimmed and puffy eyes met kai's shining and happy ones. he admired how kai's bright doe eyes looked as if they held each and every star in the universe, and he found himself falling even deeper.

"stop gawking like an idiot." kai chuckles, opening his hands wide open for an embrace.

and soobin crashes in those hands that he feels ever so safe with, and he finally feels at home.

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a/n: not proofread yet but AWWWWW SOOKAI