Christmas in the loop

"Darling... will you please open the door?" She said. She'd been standing out there for a quarter of an hour. You hadn't answered, just sunken deeper down in your defensive position, every time she asked you.

"No" you mumbled. You knew she couldn't hear you as your voice was muffled by your arm and sweater on top of that. You heard her sigh and then something sliding down the door. Probably her. You looked up slightly.

"Y/n, please?!" She said and you could hear the despair in her voice making you bury your face in you arms and knees further.

'She doesn't care. You should leave" the voice said again.

"Shut up" you mumbled as a tear streaked your already wet cheeks. The voice had been bothering you all day, since first occurring yesterday. It kept telling you Alma didn't love you, that you should just go, that no one would miss you if you left... all of the good stuff. In other words, you just wanted to sleep! Nothing but SLEEP! But every time you closed your eyes, the same dream kept occurring. You strangling Alma until the blood popped in her eyes. You always woke up screaming making the -concerned- Ymbryne rush to your locked door. She didn't have the key anymore... you'd sneaked that a little while ago. However you couldn't just let her sit out there.

"Ugh" you groaned silently, then getting up and unlocking the door. You knew she'd heard the click with her birdlike hearing, leading you to just crumble up under the blankets of your bed.

"y/n! You had me worried sick." She scolded though you could hear her voice breaking in the end, making you concerned.

"I'm sorry... i just needed some alone time..." you said, you voice raspy and in a low octave. You heard her take of her heels and something else. The bed sank down beside you and soon enough she appeared under the blanket. Her jacket was off revealing -to your misery- a slightly see through white button up. She pulled you closer making a sob rack through you. You wanted nothing but to be close to her, but at the same time you were afraid you would hurt her like in the dreams.

"I'm sorry." You cried out silently.

"Darling, you don't have to apologise" she said pulling you even closer. You wrapped your arms around her as well, in an attempt to get closer, which was at this point, not possible.

"I'm here love. Please talk to me" she said, her voice almost sounding pleading.

"I- i-" the words wouldn't come out to form sentences. You groaned in frustration.

"I can't-" you said. You couldn't see the woman doing everything not to lose composure, while tears were strolling down her cheeks. You didn't even know she was this affected. How would she react with you leaving again? You'd though about it for just a little bit. Here you were only causing trouble... and if the dreams came true...-No! You'd have to leave. As soon as possible. But you didn't actually want to leave her! And the children would be heartbroken... no. You would have to figure out something better. You didn't notice your eyelids falling shut nor the catching up on the fact that you were slowly falling asleep in the taller woman's arms...

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I'm so sorry for short chapters- but it has been hard to find the time the past days. But weekend is her so fear not!!!!