The Duchess and I

That's just my luck. Getting engaged at the same time my brother does. And since our engagements concern both of our best friends, everybody thought it best to keep our engagement parties together as well. After all, the four of us spend so much time together already that people wouldn't think it weird if we would do this together as well

So, tonight it is time for me again to put on my poker face. First, I have to act happy and totally in love with Liam, since it is our engagement party after all. And secondly, I have to act like I am proud of my brother for marrying my best friend, while in the meantime his fiancé has left me unhinged. Kissing Christina at last night's Mayfair party really leaves me confused all over again. I don't know what's keeping her and what she's playing at, but I'm getting fed up with her behaviour more and more. I exactly have her where I want her, but still she's as stubborn as a pig and refuses to let me in completely, so we can both end this farce we're in.

I always thought love was easy. Two people love each other. They say that out loud and get together. Easy as one, two, three. Then why the Hell is it so difficult for us all the time? I love her. She loves me. We both have said it aloud. And still we're not together. It's frustrating, but I am at the same time deadly afraid I'll push her away, when I push her too much about it. So, I'll leave it be for now, but not for too long though since I am starting to lose my mind over it. And besides, her wedding is getting closer with every passing minute. I don't have the luxury of letting this play out, whenever she's ready for it. I have to rush her, but I can't at the same time. And that's also driving me mad.

Luckily, with the engagement party at our doorstep, which we would keep here in Castle Le Bon, I have many other things to worry about. At least if you would ask my maman. In fact, I myself couldn't care less. Organising this elaborate engagement party, while my head is not at the game at all, feels wrong and unethical. I don't love my fiancé as he well knows, but he still has some feelings for me left according to aunt Emma. Christina in the meanwhile does not love Elias the way she should, while he probably would catch a bullet for her if it came down to that. This is all one big hoax.

Celebrating this farce of an engagement only adds to my dislike of it all. Besides, I definitely don't feel like throwing a party right now, since my world is once again topsy-turvy. I have to continue my own constructed play though, since my mother would definitely have a nervous breakdown if I would cancel tonight's festivities at the last minute.

But as it turns out there are three things that lighten up this engagement party. I am standing with my brother, Liam and Christina in our stone, brightly lit hallway to receive our guests. I keep shaking hands and saying the same things over and over again, until I feel like I am a machine programmed to say these two sentences only: 'Thank you for being here. Have a nice time.'

Just when I feel I am getting stuck into a mantrum one of my servants walks towards me, bows and hands me a letter. At first I think it is a last minute cancellation, but then I see a childish handwriting greeting me and Christina. I beckon her to join me in reading and together we read the letter, which is apparently written by Laurent.

Dear Duchess Le Bon & Duchess Arlington,

We all thank you for the kind invitation to tonight's engagement party. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend, since maman has given birth to our little sister. Maman is very tired, but she cannot stop smiling. Both Amelie and I don't know what is so adorable about the naked thing in her arms, but maman told us that she will grow up to be our little sister, so I guess I'd better be a dear to her. Maman hasn't given her a name yet, since she wants to wait three days, until she's sure my sister will live. I don't understand why she doesn't give her a name. It's so much easier to write about her with a name than by calling her my sister. It's not like she's going anywhere, so why not just name her? Amelie and I have taken the liberty to give her a name, but that made maman angry. I guess Miss. Piggy isn't a nice name.