another day (Bucky xreader)

Y/n pov

   I keep seeing flashes of dead body's and little girls. I keep hearing people begging and pleading for help, some in German, some in Aramaic, and in other languages. But they are all the same, cries for help, people pleading and begging, I can't get it out. I wake up and I'm being held. I look up to see Bucky sound asleep. The clock reads 6:35 am. I nestle my head into his chest, his strong, muscled chest. "Good morning Y/n." I hear Bucky say. "hi." I whisper.

    "How are you feeling?" He asks. I just shrug my shoulders, and keep holding onto him. "I'm a monster." I whisper into him. "No you're not! That's what they want you to believe but you're not!" He says in a strong tone, but there is no hate or anger in it. He picks up my head and looks me in the eyes, I try to look away but he wont let me. "I know you Y/n, and you are not a monster." He reassures me. "But I've killed so many people, and I don't even know who I am, or who I belong to, or-" He cuts me off before I can finish. "I've killed too. And I know who you are, and you DON'T belong to anyone. Do you understand?" He says now holding my shoulders.

    I nod even though I don't believe him. His phone starts to ding, I get up so he can take care of it, and I walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, only I look different. I'm the Red Soldier. I quickly look away once I see this, and bow my head looking to the floor. Once I come out Bucky is on a phone call with someone, I stand in the bathroom door way, looking at him. "Ok we'll be down in a sec. Bye." Bucky says then hanging up the phone. "Tony wants us all down stairs in 15 minutes." Bucky says. I nod, and then I realize that I'm still in my blue dress, I open the dresser and pull out a pair of black cargo pants, a sports bra, and a black long sleeve shirt. I go into the bathroom to change, and when I come out Bucky is gone. I see a note that says he went to get dressed and that he'd meet me down stares.

    I make my way down stairs when the elevator stops and opens up to Peter. He gets in and it's really awkward. "I know Mr. Stark made you say that stuff. I'm not mad at you, just so you know." He says. We enter the floor where the party was and Tony, Bruce, and Thor are the first people that got there. Shockingly the place is spotless and super clean. As Peter and I walk out of the elevator Tony gives me a look of disapproval. Once everyone is down Thor starts off the meeting. "Does anyone know why we are here? No, well someone took my alcohol." He says. "No that's not why we're here." Tony says. "Someone took it though. Do you not know how old that is?" Thor says. Little do they know though that I have it. I hid it under the bed mattress. "Ok we are here to talk about the mission that Fury was talking about.

    "The list of people came out. Me, Steve, Bucky, Clint, Wanda, Sam, and Y/n. We will head out in a week." Tony says. "I thought he said Two months?" Steve questions Tony. "It was originally but we found some movement in the base. We will go, infiltrate, and then attack. We will leave on Friday, So you have five days to pack and train. Everyone that's in the mission meets in the conference room at 8:00 on the dot." Tony explains, and then he leaves. Peter ends up following him out, so now everyone else is sitting there. "So who took my alcohol?" Thor asks. That's when everyone leaves. I get up and head to the gym so I can kill a bag.

    Once I get there I walk over to the body bag and start going to town. After an hour and a half I remember that I have to go to the meeting about the HYDRA base. I don't get why they chose me. As I make my way to the elevator I hear that voice again. "You are still loyal." It whispers. Then a quick flash of the HYDRA symbol goes through my head. And then the voice goes silent, as the elevator doors open. Steve and Wanda are standing in the elevator in a conversation. I walk in without saying a word. Once we get to the conference room everyone is there and unfortunately the only seat that's left is next to Tony.

    I go to sit down at the end of the table with Tony who gives me a look, you can tell that he's trying to be threatening but he just isn't. Not to me at least. "Ok let's get started, so we are here about the mission. As most of you guys know it was going to be in two months, but because of recent intel you guys will set out Friday." Fury says. "Why all the sudden?" Wanda asks. "We have found out that the power was recently turned on, meaning that someone is in there. It could even be some of the people from the last mission." Fury states. "What's in Kazakhstan?" Steve asks, looking at a folder in front of him.

    "We have found some files from Nat that there is something big there, and whatever it is we don't want HYDRA to use it." Fury says. "So what's in it?" Tony says looking at me. And this catches everyone's attention, and suddenly everyone is staring at me. "I don't know." I bluntly say looking dead ahead. "I find that hard to believe." Tony says. "Why would I even try to help you? Your not my handler." I say. I can tell that Bucky is worried, it's written all over his face. "Because we saved you, I'm the one that got you out." Tony says. "Maybe I didn't want to be saved." I growl. "Enough! Tony nock it of, and Y/n if you know anything you need to say it now! If we feel you are holding back intel I'll have Wanda read your mind, and there will be consequences for your actions." Fury says with fury in his voice.

    "I don't know what's in Kazakhstan there's hundreds of bases all around the world." I say. "Ok" Fury sighs. "We think that there could be important files, or someone important there, or possible a weapon." Fury says. "We will have someone on the inside and they will be our eyes and ears on the inside, once the time is right you guys will infiltrate and get the intel. Then report back." Fury states. "Does anyone have any idea about how we can get in?" Steve asks. "What about me? I'm not really as well known as you guys. Same with Wanda." Sam says. "We can't do Steve or Tony, and we can't do cyborg." Sam adds. "Wait?" Tony says lighting up. "What is it Stark?" Steve asks.

    "Why not give them what they want? Sam can be posed as a guard and he can give them back there weapon." Tony says. "No we aren't doing that!" Bucky yells, he stands up so fast that he knocks his chair over. "Hold on serge. Tony explain." Fury says. "If Sam goes in with her they'll trust him, he'll keep an eye on her and once they have the go that's when we attach." Tony says. They start to argue but I just sit there thinking. If this were to work I could use this to run away or find out who are actually the bad guys, the only person I trust is Bucky. "What do you think Y/n?" Bucky asks. "Ok." I say. "I don't see a lot of options." I simply state. "See even she knows what's best." Toy says. "I'm not doing this for you, and frankly I don't trust you, nor do I like you." I say. "Then why are you doing this?" Wanda asks. "Closer." I say blandly.

    They end up talking about what the plane is and how it will play out. Once the meeting ends I am the last person to leave. I sit there in the chair thinking about all the bad things that can go wrong. After about 30 minutes of contemplation I get up and go to the kitchen to get some water. As I'm getting water Bucky comes up and sits at the counter. "Are you sure you're ok with this?" Bucky asks. "Yes, I can handle it. Can I ask you a question though?" I ask. "Sure." He replies with a smile. "How did we meet?" I asked him, I've been wondering about this for a while. How come I feel like I've known him forever, I know he said we worked together at HYDRA but how did we meet?

    "Well Steve and I were on a mission. It ended up going bad. We were on a train, it was snowing. It was January 1945, Dr.Zola was on the train, we were there to capture him, there ended up being soldiers there that had on some fancy high tech armor. I ended up falling out of part of the train that got shot open, I was hanging on a rail then it snapped. I woke up in the snow and I was being dragged. After they saved me they had to amputate my arm.

    They placed me across the cell from you. I would see you go in and out, always with guards everywhere. One night they, erm," He pauses then takes a deep breath. "After they torture you, you where curled up in a ball on the floor. You didn't have a bed, you said that you lost the privileges. But you started singing Green Eyes. Eventually we became partners." Bucky says. "I trust you." I say then going up to him kissing him.