I Love You Tom Hiddleston

I"Kate? Katie, love? Kate?" He whispered softly in her ear, his arms wrapped around her, his body curled around her in the grey dawn.

"Mhmm. What." She didn't open her eyes. He'd crawled into bed about 3 am. She knew he was sorry then, and she also knew he had cried a little when she hadn't replied to his murmured apology and goodnight.  She knew because despite what she'd told him, she was wide awake.

She'd been awake when he cuddled in and fell asleep, mumbling about his beautiful girl and then as he snored gently.  Part of her found it endearing, even drunk he was still professing to love her. Still able to summon the words to apologise.  The other part was humiliated. He'd told Chris her deepest darkest secret. Like she preferred tea instead of coffee, like she ate all the edges of the jaffa cake first. And Chris had laughed. It was all a joke. She felt like she was a joke.

"Morning darling," he whispered. " Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She spoke quietly and calmly, trying to keep a lid on her racing emotions. Maybe she could ignore it. Maybe she could pretend it hadn't happened. Maybe not.

"That's ok then. It's really not a problem, he won't tell anyone. You know I didn't mean to tell him. It just slipped out." He said quietly into the back of her neck, his arms tightening slightly as he pressed her to him.

"Tom?"

"Yes my love?" He started to kiss her neck, his breath hot on her skin. No, she told herself. No.

She took a breath. It was all just too much.  "Do you REALLY think so little of me? Do you REALLY think I'm not. VERY upset by your telling him? You think a kiss and a cuddle and a little sorry makes it alright?" She hadn't moved. She hadn't shouted, and in a way that was worse.

"Darling, dont be silly. Of course I think the WORLD of you. And so does Chris."

"What? Even though I'm just a naive little virgin that you can't even have sex with? Oh Thomas, you really are a..a..sod."

With that, she threw the covers back and pulled herself out of his grasp. Standing up, she turned, and he looked up at her, his eyes sunken, his face a horrible hungover green. He winced as she looked down. He could see her eyes were still bloodshot and swollen from crying.

"Im going out, Thomas. I dont want to see you, speak to you or hear from you until I decide what to do.  Yes, "she paused as he sat bolt upright in panic."Yes, this really is that serious. You betrayed me. You made me feel small and stupid and childish, whether you meant to or not."

She had absolutely no intention of leaving him, but she did want time to think about things. If things hadn't gone the way they had... now, she didn't want to punish him, she just needed space. To forgive him. To forgive herself. After all, if she hadn't been so reserved... no.  This was HIS doing. She needed to be strong.

"Kate, please, darling..." he scrambled to the side of the bed, kneeling on the mattress as she dressed in her sweats and trainers.  "PLEASE love, dont leave me. I love you." His eyes filled with tears, the panic in his chest like a dagger.

"I know you do, Tom." She left him hanging. She didn't say it back. She knew it was childish, but right now? She wanted him to feel every bit of her humiliation. Without a further word, she left the room and headed down to the lobby. 

Looking around, she found the concierge desk.

"I'd like to do some sightseeing but dont feel safe walking about myself. What would you recommend?" She smiled at the young man behind the desk.  He looked up from his screen and smiled pleasantly.

"Mr Hiddleston not joining you today?" He wasn't being nosy, just making polite conversation. Kate shook her head, and he smiled again.

"In that case, might I suggest the hop-on hop-off bus tour ? The best way I know to see the city, and be safe at the same time. Anything strikes your fancy, and you can jump off to explore.  There's a stop right outside the hotel on the left."

"Perfect, thank you so much. If by any chance Mr Hiddleston asks, you don't know where I'm going. Tell him I will see him tonight?"

The concierge gave her a knowing smile. "Certainly miss.  I'll assure him you will be in good hands, but I dont have your itinerary."

She reached over and squeezed his hand where it lay on the desk.  She knew it was maybe a bit forward, but she was just relieved.

She had just disappeared through the front door when a pale, sweating, and frantic Tom entered the lobby.  Where was she? Surely she wouldn't walk about all by herself? Oh crap, this was just getting worse and worse.

He looked at his watch and swore viciously. Luke would be here in an hour to take him to a meeting. He needed to at least look human. Slowly, he made his way back up to the room.

As he washed and dressed, his hangover began to recede, and he stopped panicking enough to formulate a plan. They had a final night. He could pull out all the stops. Be everything she ever wanted.

He could only pray she would still want him.