The Game of A Life Time

CARTER POV

South Dakota

This is the end, counting my breath. Holding it in for ten seconds and then breathing out the last hit.

The smoke fills up the car and the orange nub is thrown out of the window when I exhale. Music drops in the background and I feel light, the lightest I have felt in a long while.

Drugs and medicine fill my brain rushing through my blood making me lose consciousness for a split second before I could turn the car off. Belle is going to be pissed that she has to drive home later tonight.

I couldn't help myself. I saw the man standing on the corner with a joint in his hand wishing for a lighter. I gave him a lighter and in return he give me his supplier's contact. He needed one and I needed one, the vices of the people.

Weed is something that I gave up unintentionally. Getting high was a coping mechanism for the weakest parts of my life. Today, I gave in hoping it will help the thoughts of guilt when I heard Sarah's voice on the other end of the call.

She sounded so sad.

Her voice trailed off towards the end, I hoped she would be the one to call me. I didn't answer at first because I was scared she would yell at me, but I had to know she was okay.

I still love her more than life itself, there is no way I couldn't love her. But she chose her life's path, it wasn't with me. I know I fucked up and I shouldn't have given into Belle as I did, but nothing happened.

The earth moves around me as I take in the surrounding area. Belle should be back soon, her shift ended five minutes ago.

She got a job as an out-of-house nanny two days ago. Her experience with children amazes me. Before Sarah and I came into her life, she worked as a nanny for a family in Grass Valley along with being a tutor for kids with dyslexia. She has dyslexia, never would have thought.

Belle and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but lately, we seem to have everything down to the tee. She wakes up, makes coffee, gets ready for the day, and runs errands. I wake up, drink the coffee, gets ready, and leaves to push the block.

There is something we argue about, one of them being Sarah. Belle knows the situation, she was there for most of it. The thing she doesn't understand is the bond that we have, Sarah and I are likely bonded for life.

My heart pangs with guilt again, the smoke leaving the air. I shouldn't have left her by herself, she isn't my problem anmore though. Kylie can take care of her and she is a strong woman who has faced a lot of tough shit, she can get through this with or without me.

Belle reaches the end of the block with a packet in her hand. Once she sees me in the car, she stops in her tracks. Her head shakes with disappointment, the fire in her eyes gives away the anger she is trying hold in.

"What the fuck, Carter? The family is only a block away, we could smell it from there!" Belle raises her voice at me, "you need to grow the fuck up."

"They won't know it was me or that you are with me," I turn the car around and head back home.

She places the packet on her lap and rolls the windows down, "this is gross."

I ignore her, "how did things go? I assume you are starting soon?"

"I officially start next week, today was just a trial run with the kids." Belle uses her hand to cover her face from the long lasting smell of skunk in the car, "I have to go back tomorrow to get a full inventory of my duties and such."