Shadow

'Just drop me here.'

'Are you sure? This place is....'

'Don't worry. Someone is coming to pick me up.'

'Are you telling the truth? You're not here to do something else?'

'Mn. I am telling the truth.'

'Okay then. If you insist. Just be careful.'

'Yes. Thank you for your concern.'

The taxi driver left after receiving the fare.

Right now I am standing at the same spot where two years ago my accident happened.

..........................

After returning from Trang Leo dropped me off at my house in the afternoon. Troy was still at school and Earth was at the hospital. I texted him to inform my arrival.

Earth called back right after receiving my message.

I took a deep breath and put my plan into action. I need to hear the truth from Earth. Only he has the answers to my questions. And for the first time in my life, I was glad that he was in the hospital and we were talking over the phone. I don't know if I could say anything if he was in front of me.

'Welcome back love. I missed you so much.'

'Really? But I didn't miss you a bit.'

'Impossible.' He laughed.

'It's true.' I calmly replied.

'Uh oh. I understand. You are angry because I am at the hospital. Sorry, sorry, an urgent matter suddenly came up so I dropped Troy to Dr Chan's house. His grandson is visiting from the city so he invited Troy for a sleepover....' He tried to placate me.

'Earth... I am not angry..... I am disappointed.'

'Disappointed? With whom?'

'Guess?'

'Me? But why?'

'I have my reasons.'

'You are just joking right?'

'Hm? My life itself became a joke. Why would I joke with you?'

'New? What's wrong?'

'Everything. But don't worry....I'll do everything in my power to make it right. I am ready to fight.'

'New? What's going on? Did something happen on your trip? Tell me!'

'Earth? What's your biggest fear?'

'What? Fear?'

'Yes. What are you most afraid of?'

He was silent for a long time. Just when I thought he wasn't going to answer he said in a firm tone.

'I think you already know.'

'I want to hear it from you.'

'My biggest fear is that I will lose you. Even though I know it won't happen I'm still afraid.'

'What makes you think it won't happen? What makes you so confident?'

'I have my reasons.'

'Hm.'

'Now please tell me what's going on, New. Please.'

'Earth...... I remember everything.'

There was only silence on the other side of the phone.

'My memory.......it's back.'

'Stay where you are.... I am coming.' The call ended.

I know I played a risky game here but I was desperate. Earth will never gonna tell me the truth if I simply ask. So I have to think out of the box. I just hope my trick works.

In less than forty minutes I heard a car screech and stop in front of the house. Earth is here.

I was waiting in the living room with a calm expression but on the inside, I was hyperventilating.

'New.' He took off his shoes in a flash and came running towards me.

'Earth.' I nodded but just when he was going to touch my shoulder I said,

'Don't.'

'New......' His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking but he obeyed reluctantly.

'Let's talk first.' I pointed my chin towards the opposite sofa.

With a bowed head he sat down silently. His hands were clenched in fists and his whole body was emanating a nervous aura.

'Are you gonna leave me?' His low voice was laced with complex emotions.

'That depends on your honesty.' I tried to sound tough but my voice was also shaking.

'No. I am not letting you go. You are not gonna leave me. New, you won't leave me, right?' He was mumbling with a bowed head.

'You should have thought about this before. Now it's up to me. You don't have a say in this.' I don't want to hurt him but the situation is already out of control.

'I am admitting my fault. I am admitting that what I did to you was inhuman but believe me New, I wasn't in my right mind at that time. I became a monster. I was only thinking about revenge. That's why I did all those things.'

Huh! Revenge! Why!

'What exactly did I do so wrong that you have to go this far to take revenge?'

I am really at a loss here. I don't even know how to question him properly. So I tried to act indignant.

'I know, I know, you didn't do anything wrong. You weren't driving that day. The police informed me about that later. Because of lack of evidence their investigation was delayed by two months.'

Wasn't driving? What? Is he talking about the day of my accident?

'So you know? But still you...' I stopped in mid sentence because I don't even know what inhuman thing he was talking about.

'I am sorry. I am sorry.' Tears started to roll down from his eyes.

I so wanted to go to him and take him in my arms. I wanted to say to him that it's ok... don't cry. But I also want to know the truth. So I steeled my heart and asked in a mocking tone,

'What are you even sorry for?'

Suddenly he got up from the sofa and came to me. Before I could react he hugged me tightly and said,

'I am sorry that I blamed you for that accident, I am sorry that I hated you for killing Mix. I am sorry that I tried to get rid of you several times to avenge my husband.'

What Husband! Who is Mix! My heart was jumping violently in my chest.

'New..... I am sorry I erased your existence from the world just to make you suffer.'

My existence! Erased!

That means I am not New Pirapat? Husband of Dr Earth Pirapat? Troy is not my son? This is not my home?

Then who am I!

'I only let you keep your name. Everything else...... I created it.'

My whole body was shaking like a leaf. My head was becoming heavy and my heart rate was through the roof. Before losing my consciousness I heard Earth was saying,

'But that was before...... Before I found out about the truth ......Right now you're my everything. I love you New. I love you very much. I am not letting you go anywhere.'