Where Your Loyalties Lie - {Severus Snape x Reader}

After the holidays, the castle gets filled with students. All of them are having big smiles on their faces. Everyone's talking about how their Christmas went and what kind of presents they got. Seeing Ron's and Ginny's faces going down makes me feel so sad for them. They lost their home after all. Fucking Death Eaters. All the memories Burrow hold... Can only image how they feel. But I did hear how Arthur was already planning on re-building the house, after they get the money for it - that is. Onto the more positive things; Neville and Luna are walking hand in hand around the castle all of the time after the classes. That's really nice thing to witness. They look perfect together. Some of the students still talks about the Yule Ball, and how nice it was for them. We never actually caught the person who was passing the alcohol around, but... What can you do?

It doesn't come as surprise at this point that I have been avoiding Severus this entire time he came back to Hogwarts. I know his usual time schedule. What time he eats, when he'll walks certain paths, how long he will stay inside the Potions classroom after the students leave etc. So it has been quite easy for me to avoid all the places and times I might run into him. I just don't know what to say or do anymore. My mind is all over the place. The image of the night of the Yule Ball keeps replaying in my head like a broken record. Heart still feels freshly broken, even I don't like to admit it. How come he didn't ever tell me he has someone in his life? Why did he share all of those moments with me? Leading me on... All of these questions keeps flashing no matter how hard I try to ignore them. Eventually, I came to the conclusion, that I will behave professionally when it comes seeing him. After all, we are just colleagues. Like he said.

Two weeks has gone by. After eating lunch, I notice the time and remember how I need to get out of the Great Hall before the Potions Master will arrive. This is ridiculous, I know. But I am not ready to face him yet. I need more time. When I get out of the Great Hall and walk in the corridors a bit, I hear someone whine:"C'mon, Draco. Talk to me!". Huh? My legs stops themselves just before the corner where the voice came from. Recognizing the voice, it's Pansy - the Slytherin student who broke down crying at the Ball. "This isn't working if you don't talk to me." the girl keeps insisting. Very carefully, I peek behind the corner to see what is going on. Draco and Pansy are sitting on a bench, and he looks very stressed about something. Wonder if it has something to do with his father? Just thinking about it makes me nervous.

Pansy is holding on Draco's hand tightly that is resting on his lap. Since he won't say anything, she grabs him by the chin and tries to turn his gaze from the floor:"Look at m..-", "Don't!" he quickly breaks the touch and gets up. She looks baffled:"Draco..!". Draco storms off, not looking back. Realizing he's coming this way, so I press my back against the wall fast. Oh, shit. Light wind goes by as the student rushes past me. He didn't see me. Phew..! Tears raises on Pansy's eyes and she runs to other direction. Seems that what ever is going on between them doesn't look going well. For a moment I struggle what should I do. Draco has been acting very suspicious these past few weeks. It has to do something about his parents. Maybe he's going thru what I did?

The thought of that is like a pang to my heart. He needs someone to talk to. Someone who knows the pressure of their parents and what they might haveto go thru to have their approval. But the truth is... No matter what'd you do, it never will be enough. After all... He's just a boy. It's like there is a string attached, I go after the student, feeling of the worry raising in me. Bet he hasn't gone far. But as soon as I take my third turn in these corridors, I bump into someone. My head snaps up to see them:"Oh! Pardon me..-!", it's the Potions Master himself! Immediately, my heart skips a beat, eyes goes wide and lips apart a bit out of surprise. Looks like he got off guard too, but is quick to gain his composer. "(Y/N)." his smooth tone sends shivers down my spine. "Snape." I nod politely and walk past him. There is a small twitch in those black eyes.