Can't Let You Go

Chapter 57

"Then I'll go back and hit the sack. You must be exhausted, too. But Honey?"

"Hmm?"

"I had an amazing experience this week. I'm glad you were the one I got to share it with. Best business trip ever." He flashes a million dollar smile causing the heat to rise further up my face.

"Uh huh, it was. Amazing. Oh, hey, my first business trip ever. It's one for the record books."

"Yes, it certainly was. Sweet dreams, Honey."

"You, too. Goodnight!"

As soon as the door closes, I fan myself with the magazine that's on the table. Sleeping in the same bed didn't get me worked up, but the sight of his ripped body did me in. God, I'm an ass.

"Crap." I hand Darius back his phone at breakfast.

"What? Did I already run out of battery?"

"No, it seems that tapping an icon of people's faces does nothing to help one memorize actual phone numbers." My plan to text Liam and Zayan goes down the drain.

Shortly after, we're on the hours long journey back to Zurich, too tired to talk, but when it's morning in Alaris, we call Dad to tell him the good news. Darius makes another call to the travel coordinator to arrange for plane tickets home.

It's after one in the morning by the time I finally make it back to Zayan's place, glad to find he's sleeping. If he was awake, he'd want to talk for hours about what each of us did during our time apart. Able to do little more than wash away the travel grime and tape a note to Z's door, I'm able to get in bed within a few minutes of arriving.

The sound of the door banging as Zayan bursts in wakes me after what feels like only minutes.

"Tumhaaraa Dimaag kharaab hai kyaa?!" Zayan can speak enough of the main Indian languages to get around when visiting family, but he only uses them here when he's really upset.

"Um, good morning. English translation, please Z."

"Jesus fuckin' jehosaphat where have you been!" he yells.

"I've been in Switzerland, like I told you?" I rub my eyes.

Without explanation, he starts yanking clothes out of the tiny closet in my room.

"What are you doing?"

"Get up and get dressed. We need to leave now." Turning in circles, he seems addled by the clothes in his hands until he tosses them towards me on the bed.

"Zayan calm down, what's the matter?" I stand up and grab his upper arms.

With a serious look on his face, he grips my forearms. "Jaanu, Honey. It's Jaanu, we have to go to him."

"What's wrong with Liam?" I hear the panic in my voice as though it were someone else's.

"He was caught in a fire and he's in the hospital!"

The room begins to spin and I fall to the floor as my knees give out, but it's almost as if I'm observing it and not feeling it. Mutely, I watch Zayan kneel down next to me, take my face in his hands and kiss my forehead.

"Sorry, Baby Girl. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. He's okay." He brushes my hair back. "He's okay."

The words take a moment to sink in and begin to temper the worry, fear, and sorrow which had caused my world to go off kilter.

"You promise?" My voice is shaky.

"Yes, I've spoken to him."

Panic subsides and I kick into action. "Follow me and talk." Rushing now, I leave the bathroom door partly open. "What happened?"

"I don't know the details. The hotel caught fire, he inhaled smoke, his leg is injured, he--"

"Injured? Injured how? Burnt? Broken?"

"I don't know, he wouldn't tell me. He just said 'it looks worse than it is,' but we both know that's not necessarily true."

"It has to be bad if he's in the hospital. Wait, when did this happen?"

"Four days ago."

"Fuck." I breathe out as I wash my hands. "Wait a second." I fling the door open. "Why was he in a hotel? What hotel?"

"He's in Erie Pennsylvania, he said he couldn't tell me why over the phone. I wanted to go straight to him, but he said not to. He said I'd make a big fuss and that he wanted me to be here waiting on you."

"Ah, call him! I need to call him!" I reach into Zayan's pocket for his phone, but Liam doesn't answer.

"Fuck. Okay, how do I get to him?"

"I looked at the options and the fastest way is to drive, so we're driving. I'm driving you. But when you get a call through to him, you can't tell him we're on the way."

"What?! Why?!"

"He said he doesn't want you to see him like that and be upset."

"Yeah, like NOT seeing him is going to help."

"I know, that's why we're going. I got Garima ready to go almost as soon as I got off the phone with him. She's loaded up with snacks and I packed clothes for everybody, too. Just grab your skincare kit and let's go."

Zayan I are both bundles of nerves as he drives out of the city.

"Does his family know?"

"I don't know."

"How was he going to get home?"

"I don't know."

"Did he get burnt?"

"I don't know. He couldn't talk much. I know the main reason he's hospitalized is smoke inhalation injury. We've got a seven hour drive ahead of us, let's talk about other things or you're going to go crazy."

Without enthusiasm for it, I tell Zayan about the trip, leaving out the details about the sleeping arrangements at Adam's. Trying to lighten the mood, he playfully chastises me for not buying him a souvenir. Thankfully, he changes the topic to what has been going on in his life. During a quick pit stop, I call Liam, but there's still no answer.

"Something feels off about him not wanting me to come to the hospital. RIght?" I ask Zayan as we enter the second half of the drive.

"Honestly... yes. He was very cagey on the phone."

"Zayan what if-- What if he's worse than he said? What if I lose him?"

"Don't think like that. Burn wounds are bad, I think he just doesn't want you to see until he's healed a bit."

"What if he gets a secondary infection? People die from that kind of thing all the time. Our last actual conversation was okay, but underneath I was pissed at him for the way he reacted about me going to Switzerland and..." I hesitate, not wanting to open this can of worms.

Zayan gasps "I can't believe I forgot about that."

"It's just my speculation. I don't know that he was on a date and I don't know that the woman he was with was Emily. I don't want to talk about that right now. As long as he's safe, everything is okay."

"Alright we won't talk about it. Let's not talk about anything, you try to rest, okay?"

"Honey, we're almost there." Zayan shakes me awake a few minutes before we arrive at the hospital.

Inside, the attendant tells us Liam's room number. As anxious as I am, I'm still mindful of the other patients and knock quietly on the door. A teenage boy with his full leg in a cast is in the first bed. Wearing headphones and watching something on a tablet, he barely glances at me as I pass. With my heart beating in my throat, I grip the edge of the curtain surrounding the second bed.

Images of Liam in various states of injury have been running through my mind since I got in the car. Trying to steel myself for the worst, I reach out to hold Zayan's hand, hold my breath and peek.