Ghost x reader

Ghost's POV

I ran and ran, taking advantage of the fact that ______ was entertaining our enemy. This was the perfect opportunity to find König and get all the information the base and I needed.

—Lieutenant, position— Gaz said through our radio.

—North side, heading South.

—Copy that, we'll wait for you. Over.

I kept making my way over all the bushes until I saw something I could never forget.

—Hands up you little shit— Graves was pointing a gun to _______.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She was doing so well, why did she have to fuck up last minute?
I should've let her die and finished my mission, I shouldn't have saved her.

Why did I worry so much for her?

Why did I have to feel for her?

I took down Graves and, immediately, schooled her.

A couple of hours later, I was back at my office. I'd been arguing with little McTavish Jr and was exhausted. Maybe I did wrong by having her walking around with a bodyguard but I definitely couldn't have her risking her life. She was too important for that.

"No, McTavish, you've proven you're a danger to yourself and this base"

Ok, maybe I did kinda overreact but it was a pretty good excuse to make sure she didn't get in any more danger.
Besides, she was going to be Keegan's protege, I've let her in good hands. I've known Keegan since forever and the end of our little interrogation made me positive about him not being the traitor.

I sat down on my chair as I sighed when _________ slammed the door after her.

Even a couple of days after, nightmares were the main characters of my dreams.

She could've died.

She could be dead right now.

I could've lost her... forever

Ok, no. Stop that, Simon. Why do you even care? Why was I so concerned for her? She was just another rookie like any of the others I trained.
Who was I trying to fool? It was obvious at that point: I had a soft spot for her. The worst part was that she hated me...and quite a lot. I just wanted to protect her, although I was being kinda rough with her. Well, maybe I was doing that to protect myself as well: if she hated me, she would never like me and my sort–of feelings for her would, eventually, disappear.

Was I actually developing feelings for a rookie?

No, it couldn't be. I was just probably confusing my emotions. I mean, she was rude, annoying, aggressive, serious and extremely short. Like, how on earth was a five foot minion like her going to take down a grown ass soldier? Biting his knee? Well, it made her kinda cute though. Like when I went into her dorm and she woke up hungover as heck; she had the biggest hoodie on, probably not even hers, and it made her look even smaller than she already was. Or that time when she was trying some gear on and none of the suits we had fit her; we had to order a special one built for her size. I smiled softly remembering that moment.

Ghost, what are you doing? Stop it.

I couldn't, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I could've lost her, I could've been preparing a speech at that exact moment for her funeral.

I could've lost my chance to tell her how I feel.

Would I ever though? Would I ever be able to confess all of this? Would I be able to stop screwing things up? Would I ever be able to show how much I cared for her?

I wasn't. I'd never be strong enough to tell her how I feel, especially knowing how much she hated me.
I bet she didn't know but I knew everything that happened in her 3AM vent–training. After all, we were on a base full of cameras and, lucky or not, I was really bored that day and decided to watch the security tapes. I wanted to go into the room so badly and comfort her but, deep down, I knew it wasn't the time to do so; she would've shouted at me and even punched me out of rage. I did good at letting Keegan handle the situation, after all she did go back to her dorm and rest.

But, I do have to say, I didn't like too much that hug he gave her at the end. He was supposed to be her bodyguard, not her boyfriend. Ok, I didn't care if they became close but not too much. She cried, he listened and comforted her: perfect, that's enough.
I noticed how my fists tightened slightly at the thought of those two hugging. What were they going to do? Marry each other? I bet they were talking shit about me behind my back. I shouldn't have let those two alone. I should've been her bodyguard except Keegan. I should be the one hugging and comforting her.

No, what was I thinking? She had free will and could do whatever she wanted.

I can't with all of this... I need to relax.

I looked at the time: 1AM. I had plenty of time to take a drink.
I stood up and walked towards my mini fridge and looked around; I only had booze, ugh. At that moment I really needed something that would give me a little trip to heaven. I then searched around my hidden cabinet until I found an old bottle of Scottish whisky. As I poured a bit of the liquid I smiled as an old memory came to mind.

"Hey, bubbles, come back here!" Gaz shouted.

_________ was about 11 years old. She took Gaz's phone and ran away. She was so small she could hide anywhere.
She ran and ran until she entered a strange room: my office. I sat on my desk with a cup of green tea while I viewed some files.

"Oh, hey bud, what's going on?" I asked her with a soft tone.

She giggled and showed me the phone she took from Gaz.

"Oh my, I didn't know McTavish junior was a thief" I chuckled.

She raised her hands in the air as a sign for me to pick her up. Even though she was 11, she was the size of a peanut compared to me.

"Ghostie, what's that strange liquid?" she asked while she sat on my lap, pointing at my cup of tea.

"That, little girl, is tea. Green tea in particular" I said.

"Wow, that's why my brother says you're british"

"Huh?"

"Yup, he says you're British 'as hell' and that you were the live stereotype" she said innocently.

I chuckled as I remember how Soap almost shit his pants when I talked to him about my little chit-chat with her sister. Maybe drinking whisky was just proving his point but, what the hell, it's not like neither of them were going to come into my room to bother me about it.

Well, I did kinda miss that. I missed playing with a little girl that enjoyed spending time with me as much as I did. She didn't judge, she didn't hate, she just made everybody melt with all the tenderness she provoked them.

Would she ever come back though? I missed when she was little, teaching her curse words so that Soap would get mad with me, babysitting her in my free time, but I mostly missed her affection towards me.

¿Was it weird tho?

I often asked myself how on Earth did I go from being really attached to her to her not wanting to even hear my name.

I let out a sigh and took a sip of my drink, then another, and another, and another...

Tomorrow will be a new day...

___________________________________________

OKAY, I HATED MAKING THIS ONE 💕

So, for the 1k special, if anybody has anything in particular they want me to write... now is the time to say so. I give you guys a few weeks (plus, I can work on my exams on that time HASAHSJHSHGD)

Lilith Morgan xx