Ghost x reader

Training . Day and night. Without rest. Just the gym and I.

Was I pushing myself too much?

—Don't you think you should get some rest?— my brother asked, making his way into the gym.

—Don't you have training? — I responded back without letting go of the weights that were on my hands.

He didn't speak until I finished my last repetition.

—I'm on leave because of my injury, you know that.

—Oh yea, forgot you hurt yourself on that mission. Ghost forbid you from being a soldier too?

He let out a long sigh before he spoke again.

—You're pushing yourself too much, sis.

I didn't respond, I was too fed up with the idea that if I trained harder I could get back on the field.
I stood up and drank some water from a little fountain that was close by. My whole body was full of sweat and even some of my muscles were trembling a bit. It wasn't enough. I needed more.

—If you came here just to lecture me you can give up, I'm not stopping.

His expression didn't change even the slightest. He kept looking at me with his mix of frustrated and disappointed gaze while I drank.

—What does your Lieutenant think about this?— he asked.

—Don't know, don't care— I responded.

—Can't you just take a small break at least?

—We are not having this conversation.

—You can't do this, sis, you can't just push away everyone from your life just because of a mistake you made.

Yeah, a mistake that could've cost us the mission, my life, Ghost's reputation and God knows what else. Mistake which I had full responsibility for.

I didn't reply, I didn't want to. The only thing I had on my mind was improving my skills and proving my worth to my Lieutenant.

—You've been practically living in the gym, you only come out to eat or sleep, this isn't healthy— he continued talking— you haven't even spoken a single word to Kai. For fucks sake I don't even know if something happened between you two.

Each word he said was more and more desperate than the previous one. Even at that exact moment, I still had the same idea stuck in my head; nobody nor anything was making me change my mind.

—Go.

That's all I was able to say. Go. Leave. Let me be. Leave me alone with all my misery just because I'm too stubborn to own up to my mistakes without feeling absolute shit about myself.

As I was, once more, spiraling over the same fact that had happened over weeks ago, my unhealthy cycle was broken by Keegan walking in on me at the edge of crying. He didn't say anything for a while, he limited himself to giving me a sad stare –almost like he was trying to be empathic toward me– and nod his head slightly.
He didn't talk much, he never really did. We only talked once or twice and since then he hadn't said a word to me. I wasn't complaining at all though, I was in a moment where any type of human interaction drove me completely insane.

—Five more reps and I'm taking a shower.

He, once more, didn't say anything, he gave me a look of disapproval and tilted his head slightly to the left.

—Ok, three more.

[...]

There was nothing I enjoyed more than laying in bed after an exhausting workout. Just me, my music and my, almost, mude bodyguard in the biggest dorm in the entire facility.