"If you don't stop, I'm gonna start stabbing sh!t." BOOK 2! // A DSMP Fanfiction

    The four of them stared at each other. Purpled sighed, getting up. "Tubbo, I love you, but please, for the love of God, think before you speak." He said. Tubbo nodded slowly, slightly embarrassed.

    "Right. Sorry." He mumbled, grabbing a milkshake. He sat up and leaned against Ranboo as he held up the milkshake. Ranboo grabbed the remaining two milkshakes, handing one to Purpled and keeping one for himself as he wrapped an arm around Tubbo. The four sat in silence, the only sound being the slurping of milkshakes through the plastic straws. Ranboo had slipped the straw under his mask and was sipping his milkshake slowly.

    "This is really... creamy." Tommy mumbled, feeling relief wash over him as his throat slowly felt better. Purpled shrugged. "Creamy milkshakes are the best milkshakes." He stated matter of factly as Tubbo nodded in agreement. Ranboo looked at Tommy with slight concern. "Is your throat feeling better?" He asked and Tommy nodded as he took another sip. "Milkshake helps." He managed to get out, wincing slightly. Ranboo nodded as Purpled sighed.

    "Yeah, you're not going anywhere for the next two weeks." He said firmly and Tommy's eyes widened. He looked at Purpled in shock, disbelief, hurt, and betrayal. Purpled returned the favour and stared back at him with a firm expression. "I said what I said. Two weeks." He said and Tommy opened his mouth to protest. "One." He said. Purpled shook his head.

    "Two. You need the rest, trust me." Purpled said, taking a sip of his milkshake. Tommy sighed in defeat, looking down at his legs as he took a small sip. Tubbo smirked slightly. "Now you know how I fee- Ow!" Tubbo started but got cut off as Tommy smacked Tubbo's back with his wing. Tubbo pouted as Ranboo stifled a laugh and gently rubbed Tubbo's back.

    "Prick." Tubbo muttered, not noticing Tommy's wing preparing for another smack. Purpled noticed, however, and choked and quickly tried to diffuse the situation. "Okay, no need for a fight-" He quickly said as Tubbo and Tommy glared at each other. Ranboo placed his milkshake down and wrapped an arm around Tommy and an arm around Tubbo.

    "Hey, added bonus, you can both feel miserable together!" Ranboo added with a cheerful voice. Tommy, Tubbo, and Purpled silently stared at Ranboo, who seemed oblivious to the three pairs of eyes drilling holes into him. "Just because I can be miserable with Tommy doesn't mean I want to be miserable, Ranboo." Tubbo complained and Ranboo just shrugged. "Hey, doing something with someone else by your side is better than doing it alone." He said as Tommy groaned. Tommy hated that Ranboo was technically right, but still.

    Tubbo groaned in frustration. "Frick you, prick." He spat. However, he quickly came to a decision and in a split second, he grabbed Ranboo's half finished milkshake, popped open the top, then spit in the milkshake. Then he glared at Ranboo as he stared at Tubbo. Tommy snickered slightly. Ranboo stared at the milkshake, then at Tubbo. "What..?" He managed to get out as Tubbo grinned. "My milkshake now." He said, making a rude hand gesture at Ranboo as he took a sip. Ranboo looked at him in confusion.

    "What makes you think I won't drink it?" He asked and Purpled, who was silently watching, choked on his milkshake. Tubbo paused. "The fact I spit in it..?" Tubbo said, raising an eyebrow like it was obvious. Ranboo looked at him. "That just seems like an indirect kiss, Tubbo. You know, if you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask~" He teased slightly as Tubbo froze. A rare occasion. Tommy sipped his milkshake as he watched the scene unfold.

    "Is this the part where they kiss?" Tommy whispered loudly to Purpled, who covered his mouth to hide his laugh. Tubbo's face flushed angrily. "W-What? No!" He said, then yelled in frustration as he threw the milkshake at Ranboo, who smoothly caught it without spilling a drop.

    "Ooh-" Purpled said, his eyes wide as he sipped the drink. Tubbo looked like he was debating beating Ranboo up or kissing Ranboo. However, in the end, he did neither, just yelled in frustration again, and snatched his milkshake back to drink it angrily. Ranboo let him have it back, but everyone knew he was smirking under his mask. Tubbo glared at Ranboo as he sipped his milkshake angrily, then turned his attention to Tommy's wings. Tommy caught him staring at his wings and raised an eyebrow.

    Tubbo jumped slightly when he realised Tommy caught him staring and looked away. "You know, I was wondering, since you're a bird, does that mean you'll lay eggs?" Tubbo asked curiously as everyone spit out their drink. "Tubbo! We just talked about this!" Purpled scolded, running a hand over his face. Tubbo looked at him blankly. "What? It's just a question." He said and Ranboo sighed.

    "Tubbo, I'm a boy. A male." Tommy said pointedly, but Tubbo just looked at him in confusion. "So?" He said and Ranboo groaned, putting his head in his hands. "Males can't lay eggs, Tubbo. Only the females. Just like how guys can't get pregnant." Tommy said gently, wincing as his throat became dry, quickly taking another sip of his milkshake. Tubbo shrugged. "Maybe male pregnancy is possible in this universe." Tubbo said and Tommy spit out his drink again while Purpled groaned.

"Tubbo!"

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    I walked back to Fundy's room with neatly folded sheets in my arms. At this point, I didn't even know what to do anymore. I entered Fundy's room and saw Wilbur talking excitedly to Fundy while Fundy sat limply next to his closet. I clenched my eyes shut and exhaled deeply.

    Good lord, I was not made for this. Mum would know just what to do, but me? I'm just about as helpful as a brick in this situation. Well, if I were to take a brick and hit it over Wilbur's head, then... Wilbur looked over at me with a smile. "Oh, you're back! Thanks, Techno." He said, walking over to take the sheets from me. I nodded and watched as he placed the new, clean sheets over the bed.

    "Mhm." I mumbled, turning away. I sighed. Maybe if I just distracted myself by cleaning, then I wouldn't think about my nephew's literal corpse less than two metres away from me. I looked over at the bookshelf and carpet and decided to start there. For Wilbur's credit, he seemed busy with Fundy rather than with me, so that was something. I picked the scattered books off the carpet and reshelved them, effectively distracted.

    I looked at the titles, frowning slightly. The shelf had the usual childrens' books: fairy tales, small stories, but there were also a fair amount of science books and a math book. I smiled slightly. Well that explained why Fundy was so smart and knew so much at his age. I felt tears prick my eyes. He would have started pre-school in a few months... I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes. There was no use in crying. It wouldn't bring him back, would it? No, it wouldn't. There was only one Revival Book and the person who had it definitely wouldn't use it to revive Fundy. I turned my full focus to cleaning Fundy's room.

Cleaning would help take Fundy off my mind.