Savior | ?*REWRITE*? MELLO X OC

Chapter Five: Holly

I stared at it for a moment, then grabbed the shiny metal object and held it in my hand for a moment before deciding to say fuck it, and pressed it against my thigh. Taking a deep breath in, I slid it across my pale skin and crimson seeped out of my wound. I winced, followed by saying "fuck" to myself and did it a few more times.

There were a few old scars, some still healing and itchy. It was a bad habit, and a fucking addicting one. My tears fell down my cheeks as my mind raced, and this time the cut was deeper. I wiped my leg with a tissue, but the deeper one bled longer and stopped after applying some pressure. I felt my entire body tingle, like I just took a fucking shot and euphoria set in. Feeling free for such a short amount of time wasn't worth the self mutilation, but I was careless.

At the time, my brain told me it was worth the little bit of relief. I felt like I deserved it. And you wanna know something? I deeply fucking hated myself for it. But at the same time, I loved the feeling. When it made me feel weak and vulnerable it made me want to crawl in a hole to rot and die, and honestly that sounded a lot better than living with the hellscape that was my fucked up brain.

It's not something I'm proud of, I knew it was wrong. But I could control my hurt, and so badly I wanted to hurt anywhere else but inside my fucking mind. A fucking storm really set me off. Jesus Christ, I'm pathetic. Dad was right, and so was mom. I'll always be weak. They should've just killed me that night, then I would've been free.

I wish they did.

*

My outfit for the day was simple, just a red tank top with a black zip up hoodie and a basic pair of black jeans. My hair was normal, and I didn't even bother to throw on any makeup. When I finally calmed down and left the bathroom, Mello was sitting on my bed again watching TV and my room was clean.

"Alright, let's go find Matt." I spoke, somewhat emotionless.

Not thinking or really caring, I figured some hair of the dog would help more so I snuck a shot when Mello got up. The vodka burned going down, and the burning hit my stomach quick. Usually the cure for hangovers was more alcohol, and I figured if I could pace myself then I could drink with my medication.

"You're not very good at hiding that," Mello turned around, crossing his arms like a disappointed parent. "You're gonna hurt yourself." Rolling my eyes and not saying anything, I walked right past him and out the door. A sigh from behind me soon followed, and we walked literally 5 feet to their bedroom hoping Matt would be in there.

We were right, and he was sitting on the floor playing Crash Bandicoot again. He had a smile on his face and his eyes glistened, and he looked over at us excitedly as he paused his game. I already knew it was something about the girl, but I had never seen him this excited over someone before. Matt liked girls a lot, what teenage boy doesn't? But this was something different for him, not just a quick hookup with some girl he didn't care to date.

Matt dragged us out of the bedroom and we walked down the halls, a few people glancing at me as Matt led the way to wherever the fuck we were off to. Mello and I exchanged glances, both trying to mentally prepare ourselves for meeting this weird girl and when Lynn decides to confront us.

In retrospect, she was probably embarrassed considering Mello called her out in front of a bunch of people and she failed to actually land a punch. Nobody backed her up, not even her little group of friends. They just stood on the sidelines like vultures and ate that shit right up without being involved.

"She's cool, you guys will like her. But she's mine Mello, so don't get any ideas." Matt warns jokingly and chuckles, and we make our walk towards the library.