抖阴社区

S2 E3: Exes And Oohs

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(WARNING: if you are a child under 18, don't read this until you hit that age!)

The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P Headquarters. Cut to the inside of the office with Moxxie holding his signature mug and Loona texting on her phone. Moxxie looks around.

Moxxie: "*softly claps twice* You know, I checked the scale today. *inhales* And it said I lost two pounds this week."

Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, much to his annoyance.

Moxxie: "I. am not. FAT!"

The camera cuts to the front door kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.

Millie: "*mumbling angrily* Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!"

Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on the it disturbing Loona. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her, disturbed.

Moxxie: "Millie, honey. Is everything okay?"

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.

Millie: "Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex. *tail twitches*"

Moxxie: "Oh! Oh..."

Millie: "*retracts knife* He just kept going on about how he has money now, a new girlfriend, 'a bright future,' and 'a bigger cock.'"

Moxxie: "Wait, what?"

Millie: *raises voice* Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to-"

Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Cassi enters the room on her phone shortly after.

Cassi: "Yo, what the fuck is all this noise? I'm on the phone with someone!"

Moxxie: "Sorry, ma'am. I'll get this all cleaned-"

He holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.

Moxxie: "What is this?"

Cassi: "Uh, it's just research! You know, for science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them."

She walks back into her office.

Cassi: "Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?"

The camera cuts to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.

Client: "Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate."

Cassi: "Ok, so you want us killing someone in Hell. I hate to break the news, but that ain't exactly our business anymore."

Client: "I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. *smokes cigar* It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth *through the phone* your time."

Cassi: "Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?"

Client: "Transportation has already *through the phone* been taken care of."

Cassi peeks through the office blinds and notices a helicopter in front of her building. She runs to the office Moxxie and Millie are in to find the helicopter before the main window.

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