Illicit | 18+

Trigger warning: description of abuse.

Jade's POV

Wow, I was clearly in a happy streak in my life. Abusive boyfriend, controlling dad who tightened the screws on my life like never before, a job I truly hated right out of university, being kidnapped, and now, bleeding through white pyjamas in front of my kidnapper.

I don't think he heard me so he leaned in but I could only whisper, hoping to just die from embarrassment, that would've been easier. "White pyjamas and the first day of a period...aren't really a good mix." I divulged involuntarily and clutched at my sunglasses, my face beginning to burn like someone slowly set me on fire. "Can...can you get me a sweater. Please? From the stuff that's in the car?"

Without asking anything, the caveman obeyed and came back with a sweater I bought that I quickly wrapped around my waist.

"Oh." He must've finally clued in to what happened. "Oh!" Yep, there it was. "Are you okay?! Are you feeling okay?! Do you need a doctor?!" What just happened to him? The asshole turned into a gentleman for three seconds.

"No." I only looked at him, amused at the fear and concern showing up in his face. "I'm totally fine I just...I just need to take a shower. And maybe rest." I would've loved to just lay down and never wake up. I was so fucking tired and I wanted to shut myself in that house, as if it was some fortress that would protect me from Xavier. From my father. From going back home.

Alex drove me back to the house and dropped off all the clothes he bought me but before leaving, he turned around and said words that both gave me peace of mind and stirred deep anxiety within me.

"Don't worry about Xavier, okay? While you're here, there's no way he'll get to you." With that, the dark haired beautiful devil shut the door. I was left alone, in a foreign house, with no place to go and nothing to do. I momentarily wondered if I would go crazy while in this stunning solitary isolation.

Days passed in deep silence. No voices, no music, I didn't turn the TV on, I didn't speak, I only slept and sat on the beach, listening to the waves. A day or two after Alex last left, I noticed that security had increased. I guess my father was now aware and losing his shit. I wished Alex would come back and visit. As much as admitting it made me question my own sanity, I was truthful with myself that I enjoyed spending that day with him and I wanted more. More time to just be in his presence.

All alone, my meditative beach retreats offered me the space and time to think about it and about my relationship with my father. For the first time ever. Why didn't I care too much that he was suffering knowing that I vanished without a trace?

While alone in this house, I belonged to myself, as contradictory as that sounded. I could make my own decisions; about what to eat, when to go to sleep, what to do during the day, how to feel, what to think. Sure, I couldn't actually go anywhere except for a walk along the coast with two or three meatheads following close behind, but I felt more liberated than ever.

My father, Sebastian Moretti was a difficult man. He had so many principles that he was determined to teach others about. It was always either his way or no other way. He was always right, always correct, his opinion was the only one that mattered. He bulldozed through everyone's feelings; he didn't even see that others had them. Feelings weren't for him, anyway.

He did divide feelings into two categories: masculine and feminine. Calm, centred, confident, brave, strong, determined, engaged and stimulated; those were all masculine in his eyes. Weak, docile, pleasing, happy, impatient, worried, scared, overwhelmed, and vulnerable; those were all feminine. Over the years, we had many conversations about what it is to be a man and a woman and I ate all that shit up...until a few years ago, I began to understand how cruelly misled I had been my whole life.