Savior | ?*REWRITE*? MELLO X OC

Chapter Twenty-One: The Last Night

"No, I don't want to remember any of this shit. I don't want to know what's going on, I don't want to be awake, I don't even want to be fucking alive but here I am. Fuck it, fuck him and fuck everything in between." I hiss, looking at Matt as he frowned. They said nothing, and I quietly hit my cigarette until it was nothing but ash.

"You're mad." L said, sitting awkwardly as he did. He fiddled with his fingers, his soft eyes staring me down.

"Yeah, sorry for not being exactly chipper that all of this is going on. It fucking sucks and I'm scared shitless." I felt bad for snapping, and I apologized to them as I gathered my things to head to my room.

"I understand, but you need to be coherent in case things happen." I nod in agreement, picking my bag up and heading to the door.

"I'll do what I can, it's not like I'm gonna be alone anyways. You'll be watching, and Matty or Mels will be with me." I said my goodbyes, Mello right behind me as I opened the door.

"Willow," L started, and I turned around to look at him before leaving. "If you need anything..you know where I am. I'll stop by, too. Be careful, okay?" I nodded, doing a two finger salute which got a chuckle out of him and I left with Mello. Matt said he'd catch up soon, he stayed with L for awhile to talk about god knows what.

Being in my room knowing I was being watched was weird, and not knowing if B was watching as well made me uncomfortable overall. They checked my room for any bugs or hidden cameras, and there was nothing. We hung up a curtain in the windows to make sure nobody could see inside, and that did help a little. Everything going on didn't help my existing paranoia, sure my medication helped but it's not exactly perfect.

The guard stayed outside of my bedroom door, he was a larger man and looked like he could've ripped me in two if he really wanted. Dark brown hair, eyes that were dark and have clearly seen some things, tan skin and a black suit that hugged his muscular arms. I trusted whoever L hired to look after me, and surprisingly Roger was okay with Mello staying with me. If only he knew.

I kept peaking out of the window here and there, music was playing quietly from my cd player and Mello was laying in my bed writing in his journal. Once again I wondered what he was writing about, maybe how I was acting or how I was probably stressing him out. Or maybe nothing about me at all. Maybe I'm stupid for thinking about that, but I wrote about him a lot. He was on edge, hell we all were. Mello being with me was comforting, I did feel safe with him.

The cameras inside were at the corner of my bedroom and another in the other corner of my room, giving L full view of my entire personal space. No cameras in my bathroom thankfully, and nobody had to watch me take a piss. I didn't plan on leaving my room for a fucking thing, either. L could hear us, so talking was a little bit of a risk depending on what the topic was. We just had to be careful with our words, although I'm sure nothing would surprise L at this point.

My mind was frantic, I was completely distraught and nothing would calm my mind from running laps. All the same thoughts, over and over again. I was chain smoking and pacing around my bedroom trying to calm myself down. Nine Inch Nails played, that was the only sound in the room aside from Mello's pen hitting the paper and my feet hitting the ground as I walked back and forth from my bed to the bathroom door.

I bounced the half burnt cigarette up and down in between my lips, the smoke filling my lungs with each inhale. A towel was under the door as usual, and the bathroom fan was on to hopefully help suck the smoke out. I lit an incense stick to mask the smell, dragons blood specifically, but honestly I just didn't care if anyone smelled it.