Savior | ?*REWRITE*? MELLO X OC

Chapter Twenty-One: The Last Night

Fuck it. Whatever.

"Willow, you gotta calm down. You're making me anxious." He closed his journal and sat up, looking at me with his pretty eyes and a concerned look on his face. I stopped in place, looking at my reflection in the mirror on my wall and sighing.

My hairs a mess.

"I'm sorry, I'm just antsy. Also, why didn't you tell me I look like shit? Look at my damn hair." I tried to run my fingers through it, attempting to brush it out with my poorly painted digits. He chuckled and smiled warmly, making my heart throb just a little.

"You're beautiful, even with your bed head." His voice was soft and sweet, I was ready to crumble for him that second.

"I don't get tired of hearing that." The left side of my lips formed into a smile, the dimple forming on my rosy cheeks.

"Well don't, because I'm never gonna stop saying it." I giggled lightly, something unlike me.

God, he's got me giggling now. What's next, am I gonna start kicking my feet? Jesus fuck.

My eyes widened at my own reaction to what he said, and my face was burning. I ran into the bathroom to hide, and to shower so I could be alone for a moment. I heard Mello's soft laugh from my room, he knew exactly why I took off. I embarrassed myself, and usually I wouldn't give a fuck but at the time little things were making me nervous around him. Not in a bad way, but I was a lot more shy compared to before.

He brought out some sort of sweet side of me, a girlier version of myself I never thought existed. My reflection looked back at me in the mirror, messy hair and a face so red I could've been mistaken for a fucking lobster. Bags rested under my eyes, and I desperately needed to wash my face.

I stood under the shower head with my eyes closed, letting the hot water hit my face as steam filled the room. My bangs stuck to my forehead like a fucking leech, and the smell of my strawberry shampoo invaded my senses. I scrubbed myself until I was red, trying to rid myself from this gross feeling that crawled all over me.

I felt so violated after finding out how long I was being watched, B could've seen me getting changed. Naked, even. But I didn't know if he did, and I didn't fucking want to. Thinking about how someone else could've seen my bare body made me feel disgusting, and I tried so hard to scrub his stare off of my pale body that it started to hurt.

Mello knocked on the door after about twenty minutes just to make sure I was okay, I said yeah and just sat at the bottom of the tub as tears fell from my eyes. My voice cracked when I spoke to him, and my bottom lip quivered. A chill ran through my body despite the shower being hot, but I needed to let these feelings out.

When I cried the previous night in front of everyone, I didn't really remember it the next day. It made me feel guilty and weak, and I was weak. The boys were so worried about me, and part of me really didn't want them to be. But I couldn't continue the whole 'I'm tough' act, because I hadn't been for a long time at this point. It was draining to keep that image, and my mania was no longer present to make me feel invincible.

It felt nice to be cared for, but the feeling of being a burden overtook. I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt, in my head it was my fault these things happened.

I'm always a burden, something is always fucking wrong. When things should be alright, something twists its knife in my side and makes me weak and vulnerable. My stupid fucking brain, BB, everything. It hurts to not be normal.