November Dreams (M.C.)

Butterflies and knots combated with each other in my stomach while I got ready for the concert, both fighting for dominance over my emotions. I wanted to look my best, even though I knew I shouldn't care as much as I did. The little voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that he was the one who broke me, but my heart was urging me to go for it. And I would always listen to my heart when it came to Michael.

I put on my tight black dress and my wedges, keeping my hair straight and my makeup simple. When I figured that I was satisfied, I piled into my old beaten down bug and headed down the road, hoping that my car wouldn't fall apart before I made it to the venue.

The whole ride I spent in silence, letting the sound of the road and my racing heart fuel my thoughts. Thinking in the car was lonely; I found it that whenever I was alone in my car, no matter where I was going, my thoughts were always the loudest. I hated it, but it was something that I couldn't run from, so here I sat.

Would he be happy to see me? Would he care? Or would he just walk away and never look back? These were the questions that haunted me. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, screeching to a halt as I approached the traffic for the venue. Traffic was always inevitable in something like this, yet I still cursed myself for not leaving sooner.

It took me forever to find a parking space and by the time I had gotten there, they were already letting in. I shuffled forward with the crowd, amazed that all these people where her to see him. To see them.

As I found my seat in the pit, I couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. It was surreal, standing here in this sea of people who were all waiting to see someone you knew before all the fame. All they knew was the fame; I knew the boy, not the rock star. That's the way I would always remember him, because under all the glamour that was who he was.

As the lights went off and the opening act came on, the knots in my stomach began twisting even tighter, winning over the butterflies for dominance. Soon I would see him up there; soon we would be in the same room together since god knows how long.

Soon.

//

Michael's POV

I sat backstage as our opening act got the crowd warmed up. My legs bounced with jitters that I just couldn't get rid of. I stood up and began to pace; I could feel the boys' eyes on me as I walked back and forth in front of them.

"Mike, it'll be okay," Ashton spoke up, snapping me out of my trance.

There was nothing for me to be worried about, if I was thinking rationally. But I hadn't been rational in forever, and I wasn't going to start today.

"What if she doesn't like it, Ash? What then?"

He gave me a blank stare, and then I realized what I had said.

I flopped onto the couch beside him, Ashton and Calum both resting a hand on my back to calm me. I laid my head in my hands for a moment, trying to steady myself before glancing at both of them.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry for how I've been for song long. I just feel like its all been leading up to this moment I want it to be special, even if I know she won't see it. I just need this to be perfect, like she was."

They each gave me soft smiles, but Luke just stared at me from across the room, his expression unreadable. It was the same expression he was giving me back in Australia...

"Michael, about that thing I needed to tell you—"

But security cut him off. It was time to go on. He glanced at me quickly before snaking through the doorway and towards the stage. I was the last one out, as usual. I could hear the roar of the crowd from backstage, the thundering increasing as we got closer and closer. My heart started to race again.

Just get through it, Michael. That's all you can do.

The lights blinded me as I raced to my side of the stage, guitar slung over my shoulder and ready to play.

I was more nervous than ever, but I had a feeling that I would get out alive.

I would get out alive.