FEARLESS

2020
Dear diary,

I feel like I am loosing hope, all my friends have found their soulmates and I am still alone. I feel so dumb for even writing about this but I feel like nobody understands me. I really just want to find the one that will watch movies with me when it's storming out, who will sing loudly in the car, someone who will cheer me on no matter the outcome. I want a friend- but not like the friends I have. Someone who gets me, who I can trust my whole heart with and not be afraid to fall.

Where were they? Is my soulmate a man? A woman? Do they live near me? It scares me to think that I'll never find them. The fact that me being who I am can ruin things. I want to be enough for them.

What if I'm not enough? What if the only peace I can give them is not enough to satisfy?

What if I could never give them peace?
Am I enough?

—————

Reading an entry in Taylor's diary has me tearing up. The page looks like it has been torn out of another book and pasted into this one. All the entries that follow are letter to her future soulmate.

Me.

I'm sitting up in my bed flicking through the pages trying to decide on what one to read.
 
  Katie passed out hours ago after hours of fun activities. I on the other hand coudent sleep. I tossed and turned before sitting up and grabbing this book.

2021

Dear future soulmate

It's Christmas.

I love Christmas so much and I really hope you do too. I've always loved Christmas so much. It makes me so happy. I can't wait for the memories we make during Christmas. You get to meet my family and experience how we do Christmas. I can't wait to shower you with love and affection!!

  Also my chai cookies are the best!!! I absolutely can't wait for that day that you get to try them!!

How can I miss you when we haven't even met? Is that actually possible?

Love tay

———
Closing the book I set it back on my nightstand before grabbing my phone and heading into the living room. Grabbing the blanket I pulled it over me- Taylor's scent ungulfing me as I dialed Taylor's number and selected FaceTime.

Within seconds she picked up. She was wearing a tight pink dress and the room she was in was loud.

"Heeey" she giggled

"Hey I got your package- thank you" I said

"Of course- who would I be to not take care of my woman" she giggled

She was slightly drunk.

"Taylor where are you" I asked

"Uhhh at an event with tree" she said panning the phone around

"Are you safe" I asked slightly worried of her state.

"Yes tree is right here" she said and the phone turned to tree who did a little wave.

"Okay good- I'm glad you have someone with you" I sigh