A Part Of It (Avengers)

Chapter 59

I had been gone for a day, and it was already too much for me. I was standing in front of the compound, rain falling over me, soon I was drenched but I couldn't care less. It was dark out and all the lights of the compound were turned on, I could see everything inside. 

I could see Nat laughing at something Sam said, I could see Cap with Aly in his arms, I could see uncle Nick try to hide his smile at something Maria said, I could see all the people I love, being completely oblivious of the disaster that was to come. 

I hadn't realised, but I was crying, the tears mixing with the rain drops, I was looking at them, my heart so full of love, so full of pain, knowing that shit had to happen in order for me to save them. I had to let shit happen, and that killed me. 

One thing was for certain, I wasn't going to back down, I was going to save them, the same way they saved me. I looked up at the sky and saw the stars burning brighter than ever, even with this rain, the stars were out tonight. 

I let out a last sigh and made my way inside the compound. I would have to face them someday, only uncle Nick knew where I was, he had told everybody else that I had been on a mission, nothing too serious so they wouldn't suspect a thing.

As soon as I entered the compound, I had to change my whole demeanour. Look exhausted not sad, look content not desperate, laugh don't cry, live don't overthink on what was going to happen. 

I made my way to my room, staying invisible, I was drenched and I didn't need anyone to ask questions about why I had stayed so long outside in the pouring rain.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and the first thing I saw was a 22 year old young woman, who at first sight looked ok, besides the small bags appearing under her eyes. I had to look away or I would break down again, I had to be strong, I had to face the music head down and just do what was expected of me. 

I put on Friends on the TV while I was taking and shower and changing into some comfortable clothes. Some yoga pants and one of Bucky's sweatshirts, that looked gigantic on me, but I loved it. His smell lingering on the sweatshirt I was wearing made me calm down, I took a deep breath and slowly tried to put aside the anxiety I had in the pit of my stomach.

I put my wet curly hair in a bun, not wanting to deal with that now, put on my Nike shoes and made my way towards the kitchen.

As soon as I stepped inside the kitchen, all eyes were on me, and everyone smiled at me. 

'C'mon Mia, smile back or they will suspect something is wrong.' I said to myself, and that's what I did, I smiled broadly at them.

"Hi guys." I said, as Steve put Aly down to let her come and run in my arms.

"Hi my love." I said, as soon as I had her safely in my arms, and stood up with her nuzzling her face in the crook of my neck.

"Hi you guys." I said to all of them, and they all came and hugged me as I made my way towards one of the couches there. 

"All good M?" Nat asked, as if seeing through me, I managed to yawn and nodded smiling.

"Just really tired, the mission was kind of boring." I let out a small laugh, and sighed in relief when she bough it.

"Where's Bucky by the way?" I asked them as I hadn't seen my favorite guy in the kitchen.

"I think he went to the training room, he was stressed for you, since it was your first mission alone, he had to go and manage his anxiety. I think he is still there." Clint said, as he came next to me and hugged me from the side and kissed the top of my head.

"I missed you angel." He tells me, and I look up at him, I loved him so much, he was really like my dad.

"I missed you too." I tell him as I place my head on his shoulder, and see that Aly had fallen asleep in my arms.