Random things

"Aaare you writing a song?" His voice came from over my shoulder, making me jump. I composed myself before responding. "Yes. It's an altered version of the one you first showed me. I made it for Lapis but I...I could never show her in any way... it's stupid." "It's not, you should totally show her! I think it's really sweet!" "But she won't! I still don't think she likes me and...it's stupid, she'll think it's stupid!" I protested.
"But won't you feel bad if you never do it?"
I looked at his pleading eyes and sighed. What a silly question, of course I couldn't answer it without waiting and...
"How would I even do it? I can't even use the..." I gesture to the four-stringed instrument in his hands. "Ukelele." He finishes with a smile, glad I'm on board at all. "Here, I'll teach you to play, it's really easy!" And before I know it the ukelele is in my hands. "So you just put this hand up here and this hand down here..." I obey and place my hands in the right positions. "And with the one down there you can strum and make noise, and with the one up there you can press different fingers on different keys to change the noise you make!" "That's...not too complicated actually. But how do I know what to make the right..noises with?"
"Here, I've got some sheet music..."

*

"I made you something," I stated, pushing aside the curtain as I walked in. I felt my senses being manipulated as I flushed with anxiety. She looked at me thoughtfully. Okay, this wasn't going so bad... I held the ukelele in my now shaking hands, and looked down at the "sheet music" I'd made and placed on the floor. And somehow I started...singing. Steven told me that my voice sounded good, and it probably did, but did Lapis think the same?

"I think you're GAY," I sung out, shutting my eyes tightly. I lower my voice to make it softer before singing the next part. "But.." I look up at her finally, and she's just staring at me. "I guess I am too...anyone would be if they were stuck on earth with you..." I blush and drop the ukulele as I finish. As I hear the loud, hard, noise of it colliding with the wooden floor, reality comes back.

This was a stupid idea. Of course she didn't like it, of course she didn't like me... I was ready to just leave and give up on everything when her expression changed. "Peridot..." She said my name, and seemed to be a bit started when I instantly looked up at her.
"Yes?"
"Do you know what...the word gay means?" I can see her face somehow turn a deeper shade of blue as she averts her gaze from mine alongside the question. "...and in the context you used it?"

I could easily lie. I could easily say I didn't know it and she wouldn't know how I felt about her. But I wasn't a good liar.
"Yes. And you know what, if you...well..." I trailed off into nothingness. "Yes."
I looked up at her sheepishly and she just stood there, blushing, her hands twisted up into small fists.
"It- it's for you. I was talking about you and I'm just going to say it because I am a horrible liar." I close my eyes again and avert my eyes to aid the false confidence I put on. But with no response, I opened one and looked back over at her nervously. "What is this feeling...?" "So sudden and new," "What?"
Clodsiccles. Peridot had forgotten that not everyone always got her references yet again.

"Well...I appreciate the compliment..." Lapis started, "...and I guess you could say I'm...gay for you too."
Peridot smiled really wide at that. "Seriously?" "I'm very serious." Lapis said, and she couldn't help but smile back. "I like dorky defect Peridots."
:)