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Trigger Warning: mental health illness/issues, anxiety, eating disorders
Please read with care.

November passed by quickly. As agreed, Miah accompanied me for the consultation. Because of that, I started undergoing therapy...

The first few sessions were pretty tough and challenging for me...  I think a big part of that was my struggle with denial—I just couldn't bring myself to accept that there was something going on in my mind. Ang hirap kasing i-admit sa sarili na may kondisyon ako, and most importantly, I needed help for it. However, at this moment... I fully acknowledged that... I was suffering from an eating disorder, specifically anorex*a nerv*sa.

Yeah... It was difficult to confront those feelings and for me to admit. But as part of my therapy, kailangan kong tanggapin na I had a specific condition — and I needed all the support I could get to overcome it.

Gaya ng kanyang pangako, sinamahan ako ng napakagwapo at pinakamamahal kong boypren sa proseso. Miah was with me every step of the way during my journey — He never missed even a single session. Sobra akong grateful kasi kundi dahil sa kanya, ay baka matagal na kong sumuko at huminto sa pagte-therapy. Though balak pa nga niyang mag-file ng LOA so he could stay at home with me. Pero hindi ko siya pinayagan. Ayaw ko kasing madamay ang trabaho niya because of what happened to me. Also, we made a promise to protect Kaze at all costs... Kaya hindi talaga ako pumayag sa gusto niya.

Nevertheless, having solitary time greatly contributed to my recovery — It allowed me to reflect deeply on various aspects of my life. Additionally, visiting galleries and museums was beneficial. My therapist suggested that I should engage in a hobby that I enjoy. Since I had ample free time, I explored museums around the Metro, which turned out to be the perfect way to clear my mind. It also rekindled my great love for History. At sobrang fulfilling lang to reignite a passion na minsan ko nang naisawalang bahala because of irl responsibilities and priorities.

Sometimes, binibisita rin ako nina Mama, Teng o Ion in 'our home'. Nakatulong 'yung oras na nilalaan nila to keep me company — I never felt alone. T'was really heartwarming having people you love around in trying times like this. Pati pala si Kuya Ynan! Kapag designated day-off niya, dumadaan siya to hang out. Nakakatuwa kasi para talaga akong nagkaroon ng totoong Kuya na palaging andiyan para sumuporta at umalalay sa akin at sa amin ni Miah.

As for my job... Sadly, I had to leave—I pushed through with my resignation. Palagay ko kasi hindi ko na kaya pang bumalik sa office after all that happened. Yes, I'd been doing pretty well at the moment, better days you could say. But, at times, I'd still get hounded by the looks and remarks of my workmates that traumatizing day. Literal na nagkakaroon ako ng nightmares and dreadful flashbacks dahil sa mga nangyari. That's why I thought that going back wouldn't aid in my recovery.

Miski si Miah ayaw na niyang bumalik pa ko roon. He was actually adamant about suing the company for negligence — I just pleaded with him not to. Napamahal na rin kasi ako sa workplace ko. I mean, if it wasn't for what went down, I always treated people I worked with, like Jess and our boss, as friends. Kaya hindi ko maaatim na masira 'yung company at mawalan ng trabaho 'yung mga taong itinuring kong mga kaibigan.

But speaking of suing... My boyfriend obliged me to file multiple complaints against Jackie and Janette—invasion of privacy, harassment, public humiliation and many more. Doon hindi na siya nagpapigil kahit anong pakiusap kong h'wag nang pakalakihin pa ang nangyari. Wala na lang akong nagawa kasi he made me choose, either the company or them. Sabi niya kasi hindi sapat na nasisante at na-blacklist lang sila — So I had to make a tough decision...

Mahirap nung una kasi kinailangan kong balikan 'yung nangyari para sa aking testimony. Tapos andoon pa 'yung nakita ko ulit ang dalawang taong nagdulot ng malubhang trauma sa akin. It was pretty tough, not gonna lie. But in the end, I realized that it was the right thing to do. Kalaunan, naintindihan ko rin kung bakit ganun na lang kagusto ni Miah na mag-file ako ng complaints. Besides them having to face the consequences for their actions, I found closure—lubos itong nakatulong sa aking pagmo-move on at tuluyang pagbuti ng kalagayan.