OSDD and We: thoughts, experiences and snippets from our life.

Rosa
Some mornings are a bit like today - woke up and wasn't immediately sure exactly who I was. We figured it out though. I guess Steph is taking a day off, and add in Martin trying to figure out who the random new alter who appeared earlier in the week was it leaves me with two littles active so a morning of scooby-doo, haribo and I can actually make a coffee that isn't just black no sugar. Totally making a mocha in a minute.

Oh, we didn't even make it to our walk yesterday haha. Got about halfway and ended up sat down on a bench overlooking the harbour, Martin got to try put some bird watching and Little S & Little M got excited by the seal we spotted. Was still a good chill hour or so before heading back, and glad we did because the weather today is pure ass in the worst possible way.

Little S is always about for her morning cartoons, but I didn't realise Little M was about until he popped up with a really vivid memory of our time on holiday with someone about a decade ago, a memory from "his" time as front before everything broke and we ended up with Little version of him. He really misses that girl so much. Little M doesn't ever mean any harm but we've had to learn to avoid certain things from a whole period in our life or it triggers him to front and we end up spiralling if it's something that puts him in a sad mood. I feel bad for playing my part in fucking him up. I never meant to push him so far, it just happened. I just really didn't like the person he was with. I was so angry and frustrated that the entire relationship was almost the complete opposite of all the things I wanted and who I saw myself as. We didn't know we were a system then, and we hurt ourselves and loved ones a lot in our self-destructive fighting. We're trying to get better.