I Hate You More, Darling

The next few days at the hotel were tense, Eve and Adam didn't say anything to each other, Abel, Emily, and Charlie all had bonded, Peter seemingly just being a part of the group.

Nobody really knew about Alastor and Lucifer's relationship but those at the hotel and Rosie, but the people quite frankly seemed to be figuring it out on their own.

Which meant that by the time it got around to the Vees all of Hell was buzzing about it.

Velvette had her feet up on the coffee table, she was much more busy texting one of her friends than to listen to Vox go on a frustrated rant about how the radio demon of all people somehow got with the King of Hell.

"I mean like-what does Lucifer see in him? Like-" the TV head began to hyperventilate, his face glitching in and out as he buffered. "A̷͙ͭͫ̕-A̷͙ͭͫ̕l̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝? W̯ͤ̾ͣ͝-w̦̺̐̐͟ỉ͔͖̜͌t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḳ̯͍̑ͦỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑?!"

"Well, you're the one who has an issue with the guy. If you ask me it's YOUR problem." Valentino shrugged, typing aggressively into his phone.

"Wow, thanks, you're just SO SUPPORTIVE!" Vox hissed, glaring at him.

Velvette's phone dinged and a smile cut onto her face as she let out a small giggle.

"Um, hello! Velvette! Kinda in the middle of a crisis here!!" Vox growled, as the demoness ignored him.

"Nah don't bother, she's texting her little girlfriend." Valentino said, and Velvette glared at him, her face red.

"Rosie's not my girlfriend!" She protested, only for both the other demons to roll their eyes. Velvette grumbled, standing up and marching away. "Whateva, I'm going down to Cannibal Town for tea, bye fuckas." She flipped them both off, and the two demons raised their eyebrows.

"They're definitely dating." Vox says.

"Oh for sure." Valentino agrees.

~~~

"Sooooooo, I've never actually met Rosie, what should I expect?" Lucifer asked the taller redhead, tilting his head out of curiosity.

"Oh, don't worry too much, I think you'll both get along quite well." Alastor assured the short king, who smiled as they entered Cannibal Town.

"Okie dokie then!" Lucifer did a little hop as he looked around. "Um . . . where is she?"

Then they both heard a gasp from behind and turned to see a tall woman pushing through the crowd. "Is that Lucifer Morningstar I see there? Oh hello hello!! Welcome to Cannibal Town!! What brings you here?"

"I'm just gonna assume you're Rosie?" The king said, and the cannibal grinned.

"Why yes I am! Velvette! C'mere will yah? Ooh, Alastor have I introduced you to my little friend Velvette? Hello doll!" Rosie smiled as a much shorter woman, though she was still taller than Lucifer, pushed through the crowd to stand by her friend. "Have I introduced you to my good friend Alastor? No? Well, Al meet Velvette, she's one of the Vees and before you get all pissy with me for being friends with someone who is associated with Vox, she doesn't like him either."

"Both of them are pains in the ass," the demoness agreed with a laugh. "I swear he's got some kind of weird obsession with you, it's creepy."

Alastor squinted at her. "Why exactly do you associate yourself with him then?"

"Power." Velvette said simply. "Sooo, Rosie tells me YOU'RE dating the king hmm?"

There was a funny sounding static noise that erupted from the radio demon's throat. "You told one of the Vees?"

"Oh hush Alastor, I trust Velvette. She hasn't told anyone, or it'd be on the news." Rosie says.

"Besides, pretty much all of Hell's picked up on it, in the Pride Ring at least." Velvette shrugged, then motioned to the many eyes on them, whispers spreading through the crowd as they talked.

"Why don't we head inside for some tea? Hmm?" Rosie offered, putting an arm around Velvette's shoulders, glancing at her phone screen, which was a post-in-progress of a picture the two of them had taken a few moments prior.

"Ah, yes, Lucifer I think you'll quite like it." Alastor smirked down at his much shorter lover.

"Huh? What'd I do?" The king looked up from his phone, cocking a confused brow as all three of them laughed. "What??"

"Tea dear," Alastor said, and Rosie began to head down towards her emporium. The other demons followed, Lucifer had a little skip in his step, then stopped in his tracks right before he could enter the building.

"Wait," he said, the gears turning in his brain, "is this 'tea' just gonna be like, blood?" He wasn't sure how to politely turn the offer down if that was the case. Considering Rosie and Alastor were cannibals, he wouldn't be shocked if the tea was just blood or something.

Rosie laughed. "Oh, no dear, don't worry! It's got cranberries and things like that in it. Quite good if I do say so myself." She held the door for them as they entered.

"Oh. Okay then!" With a grin, the short king skipped forward and into the shop. When the door shut he pulled the radio demon's face down to press their lips together, Alastor was taken aback at first, but soon he melted into the kiss. Lucifer had been waiting for them to get inside so he could kiss the demon, though it was cut short by a whistle which made Alastor pull away out of embarrassment, his face flushing as his ears flattened.

"So who tops?" Velvette asked in a friendly tone. Alastor looked away, his face red. Lucifer smirked up at the demon.

"You wanna answer that Al?" The shorter demon teased, putting a hand around his love's waist and resting it on the radio demon's hip.

Alastor knew what his boyfriend was doing, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Just . . . just shut the fuck up." He groaned, covering his flushing face with his hand.

Rosie and Velvette burst into laughter.

"Aweee, does the wittle deer not wanna admit he's a power bottom?" The king said, pulling his face down to press a kiss onto the radio demon's face.

"Shut. Up." He grumbled, pulling away. "Rosie, stop laughing and get the stupid tea."

Rosie was still chuckling as she poured the pitcher of tea into some cute ceramic cups.

"So, how did you two end up together?" Velvette asked curiously.

Silence.

"Um," Lucifer bit his lip. "Well, uhhh-"

Velvette leaned back against the counter behind her. "Well? I don't judge."

Lucifer inhaled. God this was going to be so humiliating to say . . .

"Well, so, angels have these things called heat cycles. And our wings also molt, and it's probably the biggest fucking pain in the ass. ESPECIALLY when an angel doesn't have a partner." He sucked in another breath of air, then continued. "Al offered to help me, and after like three times of saying it would be the last time we talked about it and da da da, here we are."

Rosie took a sip of her tea, her face written with interest. Velvette's eyebrows were shot up.

Meanwhile Alastor was pinching his nose, his face beet red as his shorter lover explained.

"That might just be the most interesting start to a relationship I've ever heard." Velvette said, her eyes wide.

"Welp, here," Rosie passed some steaming cups around the four of them. "I have some lady fingers in the cupboard. I'll get both kinds." She winked at Lucifer and Velvette, walking away to get the cookies and fingers.

Well, she was a cannibal.

Word count: 1253