To Be Or Not To Be Ft. Deacon Kay & SWAT

POV Deacon:

I know that I offered to help her take a shower, also because I kind of had to, but this is going to be a challenge. I'm scared of how my body's going to react to seeing her (sort of) naked again. We're not together, but that doesn't mean I don't feel attracted to her anymore. I try to still look at her face and maintain a normal look as she's in her bra now. "I close my eyes for a second and focus on my breathing, but not too obviously, so she doesn't notice. I bend over and pull her pants down carefully, so that I'm not also taking her underwear with it. I stand up completely and my gaze, accidentally, went over her full body and what I was scared of, is now happening. Her body is beautiful and I can't seem to take my eyes off it, until she lifts my chin and looks me offended in the eyes. "Don't stare at my body please."  She's wearing a bra with no pads, so you can see her nipples through the lace and her underwear, or string so to say, is almost non-existent. As she turns away to walk to the shower it gets even worse. Fuck, her ass is huge. I have to keep myself in check. "Right." I say as I walk behind her to the shower. "I had extra clothes here right?" I ask her and she nods. "But no shirts, remember? They needed to be washed and we didn't do that yet." Well, this is going to be interesting. I take off my shirt and I notice her sneaky gaze at my abs. I smirk and walk towards her, so that we're both in the shower. 

"What do you want me to do?" I say looking her in the eyes, to make sure I'm not looking down again and make the same mistake. "Can you grab the soap and put a little bit on the sponge? Just a little bit, because the soap will be intense. And then hold it under the shower head for a bit." I do as she says and I soap her in. As soon as I reach her wound, I put some other soap on my hands, one without smell or any chemicals that she had to get from the doctor, and rub it softly. "Does it hurt?" I ask her when she closes her eyes. "Yes, but keep going, it's fine." I'm relieved when I'm done with the area, but when I'm getting around the areas off her breasts and her butt, I'm getting kind of uncomfortable, since I don't know if she wants me to get there. "How do I-." I wave my hand around the area that I mean and she grins. "Just do it." She turns around, so that she's standing with her butt towards me and I take a deep breath. I get a little closer and move the sponge over her butt and under her bra strap on her back. When I lift her bra strap with my fingers, goosebumps start to spread themselves all over her neck and back. I laugh to myself and I trace my finger down her spine, until right above her butt. She turns around and looks me in my eyes. God I don't know how long I can take this. She takes off her bra straps, so I can reach that area, but leaves her bra on. I'm trying not to think too much when doing so, because I can see everything. "What is it?" She asks me. I see in her eyes that she's also distracted. She looks nervous. "Nothing." I say while shaking my head. She quickly looks down at my abs and then meets my eyes again.

I scratch my throat as I notice we were standing really close to each other. Too close. "I'm going to get you your towel." She takes her eyes of off me and seems to be embarrassed. She nods her head and waits for me to come back. I quickly get one so she doesn't get cold and when I'm all done drying her body, I put it around her and pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you." "Thank you. It's a lot easier with all the help I'm getting though." She pulls back from the hug and looks me in the eyes. She comes closer and gives me a small kiss on my cheek, just besides my mouth. She walks around me and goes to her bedroom as I follow her to put on her pyjama's. 

"So what will it be tonight? Mission Impossible or Deadpool?" "Deadpool. We haven't seen that one yet, have we?" She asks me. We have seen a lot of movies together, but not those. Yet." She turns the tv on, and sits herself down in the corner, so that she sits with her legs extended on her L-shaped couch. I'm sitting some inches away from her but she pulls my arm. "You can sit closer to me than that you know." But instead of pulling me somewhat closer, she pulls me against her, fully. I raise my arm and lean on the back of the couch, so she can sit closer to me if she'd like. And she does. 

Not even an hour later, I hear her breathing getting louder, so I look over at her face to see that she's sleeping peacefully. I see that a strand of hair is almost getting in her mouth, so I try to erase it, but tucking it behind her right ear. As I do, she moves and for a second, I'm afraid she'll wake up. Instead, she turns to me a little bit and puts her hand on my stomach. 

I give her a small kiss on her forehead and lay my head on hers as I quickly fall asleep too.