Commie Run: Kingdom

so they brought lenin to the kingdom.

it wasn't big. actually it was kinda tiny. like four buildings and a fountain that didn't work. custard cookie called it "the glorious capital of all cookiekind," but lenin just squinted at it like it owed him money.

"this is it?" he said.
"yeah!!!" said custard proudly. "it's got a throne and everything!"

"do u have workers?"

"uhhh..." gingerbrave looked at wizard cookie. "we do all the stuff ourselves mostly."

"do u own the means of production?" lenin asked.

wizard cookie blinked. "we own a bakery...?"

lenin sighed and rubbed his forehead. "no no no. this is all wrong."

he stood on top of the fountain. it made a sad gurgling noise under his boots.

"listen, cookies!" he shouted. his accent made it sound cooler and also kind of scary. "you are being tricked!"

a crowd gathered. there weren't many of them, just a few confused cookies with brooms and hats and one jellybean merchant.

"your kingdom is small. you have no rights. no working hours. no shared property. who made custard cookie king?"

"i did!" custard said. "i found the crown!"

"exactly!" lenin said, pointing at him like a dramatic drama guy. "you found it. not earned it. not voted. he rules by frosting and glitter—not by the will of the cookie!"

everyone gasped. even chilli pepper stopped stealing stuff to listen.

"we must take the ovens into our own hands!" lenin said. "no more kings! no more crowns! all cookies are equal!"

"what about legendaries?" asked a tiny cocoa cookie.

"equal," lenin said. "even if they sparkle."

custard looked nervous. "but... but i'm the king."

"do you sweep the streets?"

"...no."

"do you bake bread for the hungry?"

"...no."

"then u are not a worker, you are a crusty old cupcake of oppression!"

the cookies cheered.

someone handed lenin a red napkin. he tied it around a stick and waved it.

"this is now the people's cookie republic!!" he shouted.

then wizard cookie used his sparkly magic to shoot the flag up onto the castle. it was a big red one with a hammer and whisk on it. dramatic music played, maybe. no one was sure.

chilli pepper cookie shrugged. "eh, long as i still get loot."

gingerbrave saluted. "for the cookie union!"

even strawberry cookie smiled a little.

custard tried to argue but he tripped over the crown and it rolled away into a sewer. a rat took it. no one stopped it.

"from now on," lenin said, "we work together. we share the dough. we rise as one."

and the cookies clapped.

and that was how the kingdom became communism but with sprinkles.