TRIAL AND ERROR | short stories + snippets

Blending is key.

This is what Caleb keeps telling himself as he packs cerulean into the edge of his eye. He has applied lavender glitter into the inner corners with a lighter blue at the centre. Once he has enough colour in place he starts to blend in broad strokes.

He has applied makeup on Nicolás enough times to know how to do it but his hands are clumsy when directed toward his own face. It's an odd feeling, the pressure on his eye and the bristles of the brush. The makeup creates a pressure he can't say he enjoys but the discomfort is small enough that he could imagine getting used to it should he desire to.

The Primark shop assistant was right; the glitters blend easily into each other, leaving behind a seamless ombre from purple to blue. He inspects his face from different angles. The colours frame his monolid eyes without needing liner so he decides to leave it as it is, brushing mascara only once into his lashes. It's a little sci-fi this way and Caleb gains confidence imagining himself as an alien fish.

With a final look, he hops back from the mirror. The blue from the outer corners matches the blue of his shirt, a short-sleeve button-up with a pattern of sea turtle outlines. It's still warm so he paired it with the thinnest pair of grey joggers he owns. His tie is lavender. Satisfied, he leaves his room, using his crutches to navigate the house though he'll use his wheelchair for school.

Sachiko looks up from the hob as he enters the kitchen. 'You look smart, angel,' she coos. She makes no comment directly about the makeup though there's no chance she missed it. 'I've made you a proper breakfast to keep you fed for your first day of college.'

She pinches his cheek and he whines but gladly accepts the rice, salmon, and miso soup she serves him.

He's eating the last of the natto when Nicolás calls from the door and soon after enters the kitchen. 'Hiya. Good morning.' He leans down to kiss Caleb's head before he drops into a vacant chair. 'You look well lush.'

'Have you eaten, Nikki?' Sachiko asks.

He blinks at her. 'Have you met Shayna? Yes, I've eaten.'

This news doesn't deter Sachiko. 'I have some miso soup over. I made it vegan.'

Nicolás pretends to consider before he grins. 'Go on then.' Sachiko fetches him a bowl and he thanks her, nearly drinking it in one go.

Caleb forgets his own breakfast as he stares at his friend and the notable lack of anything fogging up from the steam of the soup. 'Where are your glasses?'

Nicolás tries to act natural but the tips of his ears turn pink. 'I got contacts.'

'Why?'

'Well, because.' He hides behind the bowl as he downs the rest of the soup. 'Glasses make me look like a nerd.'

'But you are a nerd. You got A's in all your GCSEs and you know about weird things, like permaculture and irrigation.' He sucks his teeth. 'What's wrong with nerds? We're the best people around as far as I'm concerned.'

'Well, I just– What's it matter anyway?'

He stumbles over his words and understanding dawns on him. 'She doesn't fancy you, Nikki.'

Tapping the sides of his bowl, Nicolás inspects the internal flower pattern. 'Better for it maybe. I told her my parents died in a traffic accident.'

'Why?'

'Cause she thought I were Jamaican this whole time and I were like "nah", and then she's like "but your parents are Jamaican, so I'm like "nah, they're my foster parents". And then she goes "shit, sorry, how did your parents die?"' Nicolás gawks at Caleb to impress onto him the insanity of the situation. 'I panicked! What were I mean to say, "actually, they're not dead, I'm just a bit rubbish to bother with"?'

'They're a bit rubbish, you mean.'

Sachiko takes both of their dishes into the sink, unusually doting in honour of their first day. She brushes his shoulders as she does. 'Well, Nicolás I think you're a wonderful son and brilliant friend and you'll be a fantastic boyfriend to someone one day, whether or not you wear glasses.'

Caleb points between them with his chopsticks, eyes drilled into Nicolás's. 'What she said.'

'Well, don't gang up on me.'

Sachiko chuckles but doesn't get the chance to respond as Behati enters the kitchen and the room immediately chills. Caleb prods his natto remnants. They've argued again.

Behati herself ignores it, kissing both Caleb and Nicolás in turn. 'Good morning, my loves. First day of college. How are you feeling?'

'We're going to the same school,' Caleb drones. 'Nowt's different.'

'But you get to wear your own clothes.' Behati pats the shoulder of his shirt before angling his face upward. Caleb's stomach clenches but she only wipes a dried spot of mascara off his cheek. 'And don't you look handsome.'

'Thanks.'

'Will you be alright walking?' she asks. 'I can drive.'

Caleb's face scrunches. 'Please don't drive us. We're not five years old anymore.'

'No, you're fully grown up sixteen-year-olds.'

He rolls his eyes before checking his watch and standing up. They agreed to leave ten over and it's seven over which gives them three minutes to put on their shoes. 'We should go.'

'Wait, wait, wait!' Behati runs after them with the camera and Caleb groans. 'Caleb, I know you're going through your second puberty and you're being moody but you'll be happy to have pictures when you're older.'

He feigns reluctance for a moment longer but leans into Nicolás in the front garden for pictures. They go through all their cheesy best friend poses before Caleb notices it's already a quarter over and screeches that they have to leave to make it to school without being in a rush.

It feels strange to head to school without a uniform after eleven years of wearing one. He keeps thinking he's forgotten something. The closer they get, the more Caleb wants to turn around to rush home. What was he thinking putting on makeup to school? This is the stupidest idea he ever had! Everyone is going to laugh at him and they'll never take him seriously as a boy again.

Tears pearl in the corners of his eyes. He halts a street from Isaac Evans so Nicolás does too. 'I don't want to go anymore. I want to go home. I can't wear this.'

Nicolás tries to meet his eye but Caleb stares at the tarmac. 'Okay. I reckon you look great but we can go change if you want. Assembly's useless anyway. It's fine if we're late.'

Caleb nods and they turn around but he barely manages to grab the wheels before a group of their peers pass. He goes to cover his face but it's too late, they're all looking. They're all staring at him. They're going to laugh.

'Champion makeup, Caleb,' Jiya says, grinning so that the pink of her braces glints on each tooth. 'Looks mint!'

They're laughing at him. He'll never hear the end of this. They're all going to think he's gone back to being a girl. College is going to be hell. He'll be mocked every day.

Jiya's words process at a delay. She was complimenting him. And she sounded genuine too. 'Cheers,' he mutters but they've already gone.

And Nicolás has already crossed the street, waiting for him there.

'I've changed my mind,' Caleb calls to him. 'I'll keep this on.'

Nicolás beams and jogs back over the crossing. 'Brilliant.' He squeezes his shoulder as he reaches him again and Caleb turns his chair back toward the school. 'I'm proud of you. You look perfectly like a Caleb, I reckon.'

His lips tug, a small smile that grows until he's doing a happy jig in his chair when they reach the school gate. Miss Pathirana welcomes them all back in turn as she checks their IDs.

He does look perfectly like a Caleb.

Notes

This is another story about Caleb from Nikki & Joe, Casually. I wanted to write a little origin story for how he got into drag.