TRIAL AND ERROR | short stories + snippets

I saw this tweet and immediately had to write a scene about Ziles from I Was Just Trying To Be Funny and I Just Want You To Like Me so here it is

*

Just when his fingers dip into the waistband of Miles's gym shorts, Ziri pulls away from the kiss. 'What's your favourite letter of the alphabet?'

Sunlight weaves in from between half-shut blinds so that one of Ziri's eyes is pooled with gold while the other is black. Crumbs of sleep cluster in the inner corners from his nap. His lips are already– Wait.

'Huh?'

'The alphabet?' Ziri says in his infuriating habit of never repeating the full question. If Miles were asked, this would be on Ziri's top ten most annoying traits.

'The alphabet?' Miles repeats.

'Your favourite letter?'

'What?'

Ziri sits up on his heels so that he can talk with his hands. 'I'm partial to K. He's fun, he's assertive, you know. And he's fun to write and fun to say. Obviously Q cause she's a diva. Hate R. Different conversation, but do you think the number nine is purple? Anyway, English R is so ugly. What's up with her? Whoever created the word "rural" needs to be arrested! Now if we're talking French, it's a different story, cause R over there, she is cunty, she is the moment. I like T as well. What about you?'

Miles is still burning where Ziri's hands were moments ago. 'I thought we were having sex.'

'Astaghfirullah, Kilometres. Not without foreplay.'

Groaning, he rolls onto his stomach and immediately regrets it. Let's just say that it doesn't help.

'You can't make me horny and then start talking about the alphabet,' Miles says into the mattress. It has to be intentional torture at this point.

Ziri prods him. 'Just answer the question. I feel like you're a vowel lad. I'm a consonant girly, myself. Obviously.' When he continues to act like a dead body, Ziri shakes him. 'Miles, answer!'

'A!'

'Answer properly!'

Ziri bites his bicep and Miles rolls onto his back.

'I am answering properly,' he groans, wiping the saliva from his arm. 'I like A. It's versatile. It can be owt a word needs it to be. And it's angular in uppercase but round in lowercase so it's giving you both which is cool.'

Ziri inspects him like some sort of scientist. He's dressed in his ancient Spice Girls crop top and a pair of forklift patterned boxers he bought for Miles but only wears himself. It's not visible with him sitting down but they say "FORKLIFT CERTIFIED" on the bum.

'Okay.'

Ziri takes the scrunchie from Miles's wrist (they give him too many sensory issues to wear around his own) and ties his braids into some sort of pineapple on top of his head.

'I'm horny now.'

Lying back down, he takes Miles's hands to place them on his waist. He worms closer until they're chest to chest. With a leg draped over Miles's hips, he kisses him.

'In the Arabic alphabet–'

Miles presses his fingers over Ziri's mouth. Ziri pretends to eat them. 'What if we saved the Arabic alphabet for pillow talk?'