Again

|Asani Dream Bennett|
|Atlanta, GA|
|24|

The bright hospital lights felt like they were burning into my skin. I sat there bouncing my knee, my hands clasped so tight my knuckles were turning white. The smell of antiseptic was making me nauseous, or maybe it was just the pure anxiety eating me alive.

Kadeem sat across from me, elbows on his knees, head down like he was deep in thought—or avoiding me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"This your fault," I snapped, my voice low but sharp, cutting through the quiet of the waiting room.

He looked up, his face tired, confused for a second. "What?"

I shook my head, my hands flying as I stood up. "I said this is your fault, Kadeem! I asked you where the twins were—you didn't even know! You so busy standing around with your little friends, trying to play cool, and our son fallin' off a damn playground!"

"Ayo, chill," he said, his voice tense but low, glancing around at the few people sitting nearby. "Ain't nobody mean for this to happen."

I laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Chill? My baby's in there with a broken arm! You was supposed to be watching them!"

He ran his hand over his face, clearly getting frustrated. "Man, you act like I ain't care or something—"

"You didn't!" I cut him off, my voice raising despite myself. "That's the problem, Kadeem! You never take this serious. Every time—it's always me worrying about them, me chasing behind them, me checking where they at. You standing there with a red cup tryna look cute while my son damn near kills himself!"

"I'm not finna argue with you right now," he muttered, shaking his head.

"No, you are!" I stepped closer, my voice trembling with anger and tears. "Because I'm tired of this. You wanna be around when it's convenient. You wanna 'co-parent' when it look good in front of people, but when it's time to actually step up—you're not there!"

He stood up then, his jaw tight, his eyes narrowing. "Don't do that, Sani. Don't act like I'm some deadbeat. I was right there. Shit just happened fast."

I laughed bitterly. "Right there? You was right there but didn't even know where they was. That's not parenting. That's not protecting them."

For a moment, he just stared at me, both of us breathing hard, the tension so thick it felt like the walls were closing in.

"I love my kids," he finally said quietly, his voice tight with emotion. "I ain't perfect, but don't ever question that."

I blinked back tears, looking away because I could feel myself breaking. "Then act like it," I whispered.

Right then, the nurse appeared from down the hall. "Family for Deuce Bennett?"

Both of us snapped our heads toward him, the fight vanishing instantly as my stomach dropped all over again. My heart felt like it stopped.