Jake x Reader

CHAPTER 11 (the end):

It was a long day, and I was tired. Staying up till 4 o'clock in the morning last night was a terrible mistake, and now I was testing my boundaries by going for another sleepless night. My rambling about how penguins needed knees was a side effect of myself being tired, and it was rather embarrassing. I'd wake up tomorrow morning with this stupid ass conversation open, and from there on, I'd make a mental note to never talk to others when I'm tired.

CH: Couldn't we waddle?
CH: We could sit on our children too! We could just become larger and stupider versions of penguins!
GT: How would we sit on our children?
GT: Our legs are far too long, we'd be standing over them if anything.
CH: How do you think we'd sit, we'd bend our legs!
GT: How do you do that when you don't have knees!
CH: ...
CH: WE HIRE MIDGETS!
CH: Get them to stand and/or sit on our children.
CH: We buy our own personal midget to take care of our children.
GT: Isn't that basically slavery.
CH: Perhaps... but the business would be booming, 'your very own midget, perfect for the kids!' that could be the slogan.
GT: Not terribly catchy, I'm afraid.
CH: Well how would you advertise midget slaves without actually saying those words.
GT: Hmm...
GT: Perhaps, 'Short? Moody? Great with children? Sounds like someone you'd want to sit on your fucking kids.'
GT: Come on.
CH: It's a decent idea! I could start up my own midget business.
CH: Become some form of, of, midget pimp!
CH: (F/n) (L/n), the midget pimp for the ages.
CH: Available for all kinds of services.
CH: ',:)
GT: Wait, so you'd actually be a midget pimp.
GT: Aaaaand someone who sells midgets as personal children warmers.
GT: To think, you could just buy your kid a jumper.
CH: Remember, they're also prostitutes. So they can keep you warm too, on those lonely summer nights.
GT: I'm not sure if you're referring to the midget like, sitting on me, or them doing the hanky panky with me.
CH: Why not both!
CH: I'm sure there's some weirdo out there that would get off with a midget just standing over them. Maybe kinda leaning on their back.
CH: I don't know.

The clock was ticking closer and closer to midnight every second.

It was 11:56 now.

GT: Well, I guess it could be a plausible fetish. I mean, there are people who want to fuck plants, and feet, and, other odd things.
CH: Yeah, well, midget porn is a things, so I guess it's not exactly rare.
CH: Jesus this might actually be a decent business plan.
CH: May as well just drop the child warmer thing and just go straight to the prostitutes.
GT: But here's the real question.
GT: Where would you actually get the midgets that are willing to, do those kinds of things with people.
CH: Craigslist, eBay, fucking Amazon. I have no idea, maybe you could hook me up with a couple of midgets?

11:59

GT: I'm not too sure that I actually know anyone who's a midget.
CH: Same here.
CH: Deary, deary me, who knew that midgets would be such a rarity in this worl-

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......    ...              . ...

...       . ... .

The morning was chaotic for me. Oh who am I kidding, the first day of school was always chaotic. I had been trying to get my sleep schedule back into its normal state, but I think it had been wrecked beyond repair...

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An end.

An explanation follows:

Firstly, I'm sorry this dragged on for a while. I understand I said 'hiatus', but gosh that was long. Six months I believe, oh dear.

Secondly, this story likely makes no sense. Now this is where I explain, because to write the story to its entirety would probably take, oh, I don't know, maybe at least twenty more chapters. Now, I am nowhere near that dedicated to this story, or this fandom, and I apologise for that.

This fanfiction was originally to be something along the lines of the reader being trapped inside time loop, with herself slowly realising everything that's going on has already happened before.

The message that was supposedly from yourself in the first chapter that 'warned you of things to come' was meant to be what you sent to yourself in the last chapter of this book. How exactly?

I'll get to that.

You lost your phone, yes? The veil, or, timelines. Let's go with timelines and NOT use Dragon Age terminology hahaha.

The timelines are thin and are incredibly close together, meaning things can occasionally cross over etc, you dropped your phone, and another timeline you who happened to be doing the same thing saw it, picked it up, and realised it was yours/hers.

This timeline version of yourself had known what was going on, and sent a message to your 'past' self warning of things to come.

God, this sounded better in my head.

And please bear with me guys, I'm trying to remember a concept I came up with around a year ago and have briefly forgotten.

But yes, I swear all the loose ends in this story were meant to tie together.

Oh, imagine what a story this could've been. I had a good time writing this book however, my best I believe, shame it couldn't have a good ending.

I apologise, again, this didn't turn out the way it was supposed to.

I'm going to be honest I'm fairly sure I didn't even know what was going on half the time, because timelines are incredibly crazy and hard to understand. Hahaha, reminds me of how I sometimes 'thought' I understood what was going on in Homestuck yet I was totally wrong.

And this ending, I suppose having yourself and Jake talking about the most utterly ridiculous thing I could come up with was hopefully amusing? I'm tired, don't judge me.

Ahaha, I suppose that explanation should suffice. If anyone has any questions, I'll try my best to answer I guess.

Anyways, a last good bye from this book.

I hope you lovely readers have a great day.