A Beautiful Mess - A Before You Exit Story *On Hold*

AN: Just so everyone knows, Madison is being played by the ever so amazing Cara Delevingne. She'll be sticking around for awhile. Thanks for reading!

Riley's POV

As we walked off stage at the end of our set, I rushed to find Tegan. I couldn't let her think there was something going on with Madison and I. I mean at one point in time maybe, but not now. Not after all the pain and heartbreak she had put me through.

"She's on the bus." Madison said as I paced the back hallway of the venue.

"Maddie listen..." I started.

"Riley, just go talk to her. Don't worry about me. I understand why this can't happen anymore. I get it." She said with a smile.

"Thanks Maddie." I said before turning to walk to the bus.

"Oh, Riley?" Madison stopped me.

"Yeah?" I questioned as I looked back at her.

"Thanks for the bracelet from Philly. It's beautiful." She said as she held up her wrist, the charm bracelet I had gotten her dangling with a few clicks as the charms hit each other.

"You're welcome." I smiled lightly before beginning to walk away again.

I passed Connor and Thomas in the hall, giving them a simple head nod before continuing my route to the bus. When I got there, I opened the door and climbed the steps to find Tegan sitting at the table with Toby as he tried to talk to her.

"Tegan please talk to me." Toby pleaded as he stared intently at her.

"Why can't things just be easy?" she sighed. 

"Life is never easy." Toby said before looking up to find me watching them, "I'll be in the back lounge if you need me." 

As he got up and started walking towards the back, Tegan looked up to see why he was leaving. As she locked eyes with me, her expression changed from that of sadness to anger. 

"Tegan, please let me explain." I said as I slowly walked towards her.

"You better have a good explanation." She scowled. 

"Can I sit here?" I asked as I gestured towards the empty spot next to her that Toby had previously occupied.

She nodded her head, giving me the okay to sit down. As I did, I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted to say. What did I NEED to say to let her know that I was sorry and that Madison was not a problem. 

"We dated." was the first thing out of my mouth, and I was not sure that that was how I really wanted to start the conversation.

"For how long?" She asked.

"A year."

"Why did you break up?" She sounded confused.

I let out a sigh before breathing out the words that had always made me feel the worst, "She promised me that she would never hurt herself, that if she ever felt like she couldn't keep living, she would tell me. But she broke that promise. The boys and I were on tour, had been for about a month. She continuously told me she was fine, but the day we came home from tour she wouldn't answer her phone. When we got home, I ran straight over to her house."

At this point, the thoughts came rushing back. The scene that played out that day, the way my heart stopped beating as I saw her laying there...

"I found her on her bathroom floor. She wasn't moving. There was an empty pill bottle next to her. I knew she was suffering from depression, but I never knew she was serious when she had told me that she thought she would be better off dead." I could feel my eyes begin to burn, tears threatening to spill out.