Thinking Different Thoughts

T ÿ ł ë r

Stop it, Tyler. Josh isn't even remotely gay. There's no way he's bi or pan or something. The more you think about kissing him, the more you torture yourself. Forget about it already.

I hated that I had to remind myself of these things. I also hated that I had thoughts like kissing Josh and what not when I knew nothing would come of it besides sadness.

I walked to Patrick's dorm and opened the door. Pete, Hayley, Austin, Mikey and Gerard were already there, sitting on the two different beds. I smiled as I walked in and closed the door.

"What're we gonna do?" I asked, sitting by Mikey. Patrick shrugged.

"I dunno. I didn't want to be alone, and I really, to be honest, didn't think anyone but maybe Pete would come." He said with a laugh.

"Let's play Truth-Or-Dare, then!" Hayley suggested.

"What are we, Hay, in fourth grade?" Mikey scoffed. Gerard agreed with him.

"Yes, now shut up." She said.

"Let's do it. We haven't since our sophomore year," Patrick said, excited.

"Yeah, why not, Mikey?" I laughed and leaned over so I was laying against Mikey.

"Fine," he muttered.

We all sat like we were giddy fourth grade girls talking about their crushes.

"Who first?" Pete asked. "I allect Gee." He said.

Gerard flipped him off. "No."

"Fine, I'll go," Hayley said. "I was the one who suggested this." She paused and looked at me knowingly.

I groaned and dropped my bed against the wall. I closed my eyes and waited for the question. I was beginning to wish I stayed back with Josh in our room and watched YouTube or Netflix or something.

"Truth or Dare, Ty?" She cooed.

"Dare." I said angrily.

I was the only one who really knew what she would say. The others didn't know about my feelings for Josh except maybe Jenna since she seemed to know everything about me.

"Okay," she said, laughing. "I dare you to kiss Josh."

"No!" I yelled, sitting up. I felt my eyes widen and she laughed. It was bad enough she brought up the Josh subject in the first place.

"Ooh, who's Josh?" Gerard asked.

"No one." I said quickly.

"His roommate and crush." Hayley answered.

Now you gotta do it, they all know, Tyler. You can't back down now.

Why did Blurryface always come in the worst of times? Why couldn't he come when I was alone or somewhere without people?

Go on. Everyone's waiting. Go on, already. You either do this and get punched or they all make fun of you for being a coward.

"Fine. But I hate all of you, just so you know." I said as angrily and seriously as I could.

"Yeah, okay sweetie," Mikey laughed.

I wanted to flip them off, but it wouldn't do any good.

I stood up and left the dorm room. I knew they wouldn't follow me - they probably actually thought I wouldn't actually do it. But they would be able to tell when they heard Josh yelling. If he didn't, then I didn't actually do it.