Thinking Different Thoughts

T ÿ ł ë r

Everything hurt; my legs, my teeth, my face in general, especially my stomach. It actually kind of hurt to breathe. Breathing physically hurt me.

I woke up next to Josh in a world of pain. The doctors said it would hurt for a few days, but I had no idea it would hurt this bad. It felt like I had just walked through a burning house and broken half my bones. And my brain felt like it was too big for my head.

Josh's hair was fading slightly to a pink-ish colour and it was sticking up in literally more directions than possible. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders. He was really warm. So warm that I didn't want to move. But I did if I wanted to get my pain medication I would have to get up. Sadly.

I moved as little as possible. Not only because I ached and hurt seemingly everywhere, but also because I didn't really want to wake Josh. He would pester me again for names and such and I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want him to get suspended or expelled or beaten or anything. I'd isn't really care all that much, anyway. And neither did mom or dad. I think Josh was the only one who cared. And Patrick. He would care.

I popped the lid to the small orange container open and dumped two white pills into my hand. I swallowed them without water and walked to the dresser.

So that I can cover as much as possible, I'll wear my looser skinny jeans and a hoodie. Yeah. No one will ask why since it's so cold out. No one has to know about it. Maybe Hayley has some concealer I can use so I don't get asked questions.

I thought about a plan to keep this as quiet as possible while I changed. Josh was still asleep when I grabbed my phone to leave. Or he was really good at pretending.

So many 'maybe's' and 'or's'. Why can't I be specific about these and know the answer? Why do I have to question so much? Like now! I'm doing it right now!

I opened the door and closed it as quietly as I could. It was the day after a party and a Saturday morning. Most people wouldn't be awake. Except, of course, my weird friends.

The walk through the dorm was eerie and a little saddening. There weren't many lights on and I was the only one. My footsteps echoed rather loudly through the black carpets on the floor. I watched my feet and tried to walk lightly, but it only caused my legs to hurt. I hadn't been aware that three guys could do so much damage in what - ten, fifteen minutes tops?

Ding!

Another question.

That's one so far.

I would keep track of how many questions I asked today. I was genuinely curious about it, now.

There was no one outside. Literally, no one. The sky was a dark grey and a small breeze pushed around the orange and yellow and red leaves that had fallen. It was like I was in some zombie-apocalypse movie or something. It was almost a little fun.

I walked across the damn campus to the girl's dorm and struggled with the door like I always did. I hated the stupid thing. And of course there wasn't another one unless I wanted to go around the building.

I stepped to the side so I was by Jenna and Tay's dorm window. I knew they would still be asleep. So I did the only logical thing I could - I banged on the window. My hand hurt and so did my arm. I would hopefully get better soon. Or the pain killers would kick in.

Ding!

'Or' number-one!

Someone yelled at me and I took that as my cue to stop. I stepped back a little and waited until the curtain was thrown aside. Tay's green hair was a mess and she looked like she hadn't seen sun in years. At first she was pissed off at what I assumed was me but she quickly smiled instead when she actually realised who I was.