Crying Lightning (An Alex Turner Fanfiction)

''Alex is cheating on you''

Isn't it fascinating how an certain arrangement of sounds that we call words can make us feel so many emotions. The emotions i was overwhelmed with right now were anger and disbelief. Those five words took the soul right out of me and whacked it on the ground until it shattered into thousands of pieces.

''How do you know!? When? What was he doing!?'' All these questions splurred out of my mouth.

''Ari i'm so sorry, i saw him yesterday'' Maisy pulled me into a hug and squeezed tight.

She whispered into my ear ''I saw him at the bar and i was about to go over and talk to him but he started dancing with this girl''

''How do you know it wasn't a friend?''

''She was definitely not a friend,they were literally grinding on eachother''

It couldn't have been Alex.Surely it wasn't, but why would Maisy lie? There has to be some sort of explanation for this. Or maybe i should face it, he cheated on me. There i was at home thinking about him and how much he meant to me when he was in a bar grinding up on some random girl. I'm so pathetic thinking he actually loved me. It all adds up, why would Alex Turner frontman of the Arctic Monkeys love me the pathetic little girl from Manchester. My heart sank into my stomach. Depressing thoughts were spewed out into my mind as if i had demons inside my head. He never cared. He never will. You actually thought you were significant in his life? 

You're just another whore who thinks you had something special with him.  

''i'll stay even longer if you want me to'' 

''You'll miss your flight''

''it doesn't matter, i'll stay until you feel better''

 It wont ever be better. How can things get better when i have found out that Alex never cared enough to be faithful to me. I could throw up. I've been so stupid. There i was thinking i had some sort of special relationship with rockstar Alex Turner and we'd dance around Paris together and be a lovey dovey couple forever. I was being a little girl, i thought Alex was my prince and all of this was my dreamland that i was lucky enough to live in. Maybe it's time to grow up and put down the little princess act. Maisy hugged me tighter as if to stop me from melting down into a gray puddle and seeping into the gutter. 

''Maisy i want you to tell me if you're certain it was Alex''

''I saw his face and the quiff, so i'm pretty sure.''

she pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

I wasn't crying. Enough of the tears, it's not making anything better. Just another thing i was used to doing. I'm not going to be the damsel in distress again. 

''I'm so so sorry i really need to go now we'll miss the flight, last chance, do you want me to stay?''

''Why would you need to stay, go on''

''You're being awfully strong about this'' she gave me a smile ''Call me whenever you want''

She went to check if the guys were finished bringing all their stuff.  I glared at Alex. He walked over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer to his side. He smiled at me. I scowled and lost eye contact with him, i took his hand off my waist which left him looking annoyed and walked over to the guys to hug them goodbye. 

''Look after Alex for me'' said Miles.

''Oh i will. Dont you worry.'' i replied. I think he thought i was being sexual.

The look on his face gave it away.

''Have fun you two'' he chuckled and clambered into the car after Maisy. 

Nick, Jamie, and Matt got into a seperate car.

As they all drove away to the airport we waved goodbye.

I returned to our apartment without saying a word. Alex followed me sensing my coldness.

''What's up with you?''  he asked

''No, what's up with you Alex'' I replied bitterley.

''Oh I'm in trouble again,aren't i?'' He muttered under his breath quoting mardy bum without realising. It's like he keeps his song lyrics as ready prepared sentences for him to use in conversation.

''ugh, unbelievable'' i mimicked his reserved tone.

He lifted his hands up as if by saying 'what have i done?'. You fucking cheated on me, thats what you've done. I decided not to start making any allegations out loud since i haven't seen it with my own eyes. 

I need to catch him doing it, and that's when i can finally believe it. Maybe the reason i won't believe it is because i'm still stuck in this dreamland where everything is alright and nothing will go wrong. 

Look at yourself, what are you doing? You can't even accept the fact he doesn't love you, go watch him play with your emotions and love if that's what it takes. I bet he'll be at his favourite bar again tonight, follow him, watch him betray you.

They're back. The thoughts. The demons. I can't drown them, they know how to swim. They can be really dark sometimes. They feed my mind with memories from my deranged past. Just like the memories from when i was raped.

No more living in dream land, time to get back to reality. 

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yayayayayy thank you all so much for the 1k reads that made my day!! I was going to make this chapter a bit longer but i thought it would be good to end on that sentence. Did you get my bring me the horizon reference? I didn't use the words exactly but the quote from Can You Feel My Heart goes ''I can't drown my demons they know how to swim''. I love that quote so much bring me the horizon are very clever with their words much like the arctic monkeys.  Please keep reading i've got a lot more in store for this book sooo stay tuned :) -Phoebe