You Don't Know You The Way I Do- A Team Starkid Fanfiction

Chapter 3.7

"If you ever need help getting into a studio, or you need some band members, I'm here." He them proceeded to sing I'll Be There For You by Aerosmith and walked away. I figured he was drunk and he would forget the entire thing by morning, but he continued to contact me. I found the amazing team, and I need to lyrics to the debut song from my album by Sunday. It's Friday today.

The only thing I had to go on this first song was one chord. One chord does not make a three minute song. The stress was creeping up my throat like the vomit I just finally got over. I knew I wanted it to be a song about something very specific too: Eli.

Of course, I would never tell her I wrote this song about her. The bruise on my eye was still aching whenever I moved my eyebrows, and I would prefer not to revisit the feeling. But with all of these conflicting thoughts I've been having with Eli and Lauren, I feel like a song would really make me think about what's right and what's not with my life right now.

But every time I try to think about the way Eli's hair has those pinwheel curls or the facial expressions she makes when she's about to tell a funny story, I completely draw a blank. This should come so easy to me! I thought I was confident about how much I like Eli, but if I can't even write one word about her, what does that translate to our relationship? If I can't talk about her just to myself, how will I actually talk to her?

You know what? Just fuck the world. Fuck the world for making Eli date Joe. Fuck it for making Lauren like me and for weird attraction towards her that I shouldn't feel towards her anyway! Fuck stupid ass Joe for being the biggest dick in the entire world and doesn't deserve a single fucking thing he has! If we didn't have the stupid public image we had to uphold, I would bash his fucking head in!

In sheer anger and desperation, I charged to my desk and threw everything off of it in one swipe. My notebook, along with a few baskets with papers and a lamp flew off and crashed on the ground. The light was unplugged, downing my room in a black darkness. I was dark, I was angry and I was alone.

I just want someone here with me. I don't care if it's Eli or Lauren or even Meredith or Jaime or Denise. I want to just have someone look at me with big eyes and while holding my hand, tell me it will all be okay. I want someone to cuddle with and to lay back with and to eat together. I don't even want a relationship, I was a friend.

I needed a break. I grabbed my phone off of my bed and walked to my favorite chair, stepping over the debris of my outburst. I collapsed in my recliner with a large huff, pulling up Twitter on my phone. I clicked on her username (@elikanesne5ever), stopping slightly to look at her Twitter picture. It was the same as Joe's: them on the Sears Tower, arms around each other and smiling widely over the invisible flood. I completely disregarded Joe in this picture too. For the millionth time, I thought about how much he does not deserve her.

The first tweet said plainly, "poopin." I smiled slightly. I have literally heard at least three poop stories from her in a span of one month of knowing her. Only she could pull it off, too. The next said, "Wit da bae #ohlovah." Under it was a picture of the two at his place. Again, I ignored Joe. Her hair was caramel in its pinwheel curls, curving her heart-shaped face. Her smile was wide and one dimple was slightly showing. Her eyes were insanely dark gray, almost a navy color. The photo cut off at a large, gold necklace and a maroon shirt.

Why can't I make some sort of lyric or two about her? It's obvious to me that she's beautiful and funny and intelligent... so what's wrong with me?

My phone buzzed with a text from Lauren. "Can you chat?" it asked. I immediately called her, just wanting to hear her voice.

"Help," was my greeting.

"And hello to you too," she said.

"Seriously, I feel like my head is about to explode right now. I have never just wanted to scream so much in my life than right in this moment."

"Is it the album?" she asked in a soft voice. I nodded, but then realized she couldn't see me right now. But she knew, she always knew. "Then scream."

"What?" I asked with a deep chuckle.

"You heard me. Scream. It might make you feel better, and who knows, you might find your calling in heavy screamer metal," Lauren said.

"I'm not gonna scream! People are gonna think I'm being murdered right now, and I don't want to deal with people right now."

"Fuck what people think! Plus, I'm people and you're dealing with me right now." I'm sure she didn't want that to sound sexual, but regardless, I blushed.

"You don't count as people." She was silent, expecting me to yell. "Ahh!" I said loudly and half-heartily.

"You're such a pussy!" Lauren giggled into the phone. "That was absolutely nothing! If you were in the room next to me, I wouldn't even hear you. Scream, Dylan Saunders!"

"Fine!" I snapped. I set the phone on my lap and yelled as loudly as I could. I kept it up for at least twenty seconds until my voice was scratchy and my forehead was moist with sweat.

"That's more like it!" Lauren appeased. "Now do you feel better?"

"Kind of..." I said, but really, I just felt like a one pound weight was taken off of the burden of carrying the sky on my back.

"Just remember Dyl, I know you can't waste another day, but there's always a light shining brightly for you."

Something about that really stuck out to me. Light shining brightly. It flowed off of my tongue really smoothly. In my head, all of these chords began flying past each other. I began accentuating different syllables and tapped a beat with my big toe.

"Dyl? You there?" Lauren asked tentatively, afraid I had just keeled over from all of the yelling.

"What did you just say?"

"There's always a light shining brightly for you?"

"I gotta go," I said briskly, pressing END CALL on my phone before Lauren could ever respond. I almost sprinted to my room, picked up my notepad and began writing...

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That's right, Dylan wrote Shining Bright based off of Lauren. On the side, I put the music so you guys could listen to the one and only Dylan Saunders.

Sorry this took so long to update! This chapter caused me the most greif in the entire world. Literally for the past month I have pulled it up, trying to write it, but ended up just staring at the screen then hastily closing the browser because I just kept writing and rewriting it. This took a very long time, and I'm sorry about that.

So this is just sort of the filler chapter, so sorry if it sucks. But shit is about to go down in the next chapter, so you have that to look forward to (or not). So until the next time, my lovlies!

NATALIE OUT BITCHES.