You Don't Know You The Way I Do- A Team Starkid Fanfiction

Hello one and all! Welcome back to another exciting chapter!

Okay, DO ANY OF YOU WATCH LEGEND OF KORRA? BOOK THREE JUST CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND I NEED ANOTHER AVATARD TO FANGIRL/GUY WITH. I MEAN BUMI AND KORRA AND KAI AND THE FOUR CRIMINALS AND ZUUUKKKOOOO! 

Okay *collects composure* I'm fine. Anyway, I'm terribly sorry about the glitch in the last chapter. The 抖阴社区 Team still, though I have e-mailed them numerous time, has done nothing to fix it. I'm considering moving to fanfiction.net if it is not fixed by the end of this week. I'm hella pissed at it all. 

So, with my constant anger, without further ado, here is Chapter 3.12!

CHAPTER 3.12; DYLAN'S POV:

I would of felt a lot better about myself if I had talked to Eli at least once in the past few weeks. I needed to hear her voice just as a sign to myself that I was doing the right thing after all, but she went mum. I don't know if it was something I said or something I did, but she was either ignoring me or just plain forgot that I even existed. That really made me feel like I was worth a damn to the world since my whole episode with Lauren had met the team and the common consensus was that I was a pile of shit that was good for nothing. 

I was alone. I had no one to be with except for Eli, but either she knew about what was going on or she just wanted to drop me. I had very few friends that refused to talk to me for the time being or were too far away to even give a damn about my situation right now. I always felt this gnawing inside my chest like I was always hungry, so I always ate. I probably put on ten pounds this month; ten pounds that I was so eager to lose last year. I constantly seemed tired and the Langs weren't any closer to announcing their new musical nor were my chances of making any that I auditioned for. I know I'm better than this, but I can't seem to get outside of this rut I was in. No matter what I tried to do, I was just sort of empty. 

I pulled out my phone which I knew had no messages on it anyway due to the fact that everyone hated me. I pulled up my last conversation with Lauren. She told me how excited she was to be moving out of her house and into the new one. She had just unpacked the last box. Now, I had no idea where she was. I just wanted to know if she was in a safe place and not squatting with anyone suspicious. I typed in, "Are you safe?" I quickly erased it and threw my phone on my coffee table. 

It hasn't been abnormal for me not to sleep, but lately I was only bagging three hours on a good day. l was surprised that I haven't checked myself into a mental ward yet. Even last night, I just tried to close my eyes when the sun began to rise above the trees. Despite the ten pounds I've gained, my face was looking even more gaunt that normal with large, dark circles under them. My hair was always a mess and the only person I've seen lately was Meredith, whom seemed to be the only one to not think I was a complete freak. Of course, Brian and I had never been the best of friends, so she usually popped by with some sort of cooking and a warm smile. For the time, it would make me feel better, but the minute she left, I would deflate my balloon and lie down for another restless night. 

Yet I knew the real reason for not sleeping: I didn't want that voice or the hallucinations to return. I already felt like a freak as it was, now I didn't need my brain to tell me either. I avoided mirrors in case they began to talk, I didn't look at my arms in case ants began to crawl up them. I was losing all control and I had no reason why. Why was I the freak? I just wanted a normal life and I was the one who was burdened with the weird sleeping disorder and the brain that didn't want to cooperate. I didn't know why this was happening to me. I am not a monster.