Two of a Kind

Desiree

I was extremely nervous. Inside was the two men I'm going to be spending my life with. The pastor spoke to all three of us separately before we even went to get ready. As much as the bible says that polygamous relationships are wrong, there's certain situations that I've learned that it takes more than one man for certain women and more than one woman for certain men. God blessed me with two boys that if I had grown up with, we wouldn't be here today. Thomas, Case, and Jen would have gotten married instead of their younger siblings.

"You ready cous?" Cody asked. I nodded. "Going to have to get over the nerves now before I'm halfway down the isle and decide to run for it." I said. "Just keep a firm grip on my arm until we get to the alter. I know your going to do beautifully. You picked out an amazing dress, the three of you worked together to put this together in less than a week, you three are ready." He said. I nodded before saying I was ready. They started playing the march. I took a deep breath and started forward.

Halfway down I was starting to feel my nerves jump. I squeezed my hand on his arm tighter. Once down the isle and finally there I could feel numbness filling my body. It's been a decade since my last anxiety attack. I use to get them terribly before I preformed or did anything in front of people. Thomas kept them at bay most of the time. Only letting me have one if I really needed to. "Don't have an attack now. It's all almost over." Cody said. Anxiety filled me.

My skin was already glistening with a thin coat of sweat. Both Justin and Blake led me up to the podium where the pastor was standing. They both stood in front of me. "You ok?" Blake asked. "Yeah." I said. He didn't look like he believed my answer. I'm extremely sure my skin is crawling cold by now. I took several deep breaths before asking God for peace of mind and of body. Halfway through my skin was glistening back up letting me know that if I was to speak it would come out as the wrong thing. I don't want to say the wrong thing.

"Desiree. You ok?" Blake asked once more. I could tell Alex was looking over. I nodded. "Any reasons why this couple should not wed?" The pastor said. No one answered. "Do you both take Desiree Shorts to be your lawfully wedded wife in holy matrimony?" He asked. "I do." They both said at the same time. I took a deep breath before he asked me. "Do you take these men to be your lawfully wedded husbands in holy matrimony?" "I. Do." I ground out. My whole body was numb.

I haven't stuttered in five years. "You may now kiss the bride." The pastor finally said. They both captured my lips at the same time. One capturing half and the other the same way. The group of family and close friends cheered. They all then filed out to go back to the ranch. Once everyone was out the anxiety attack had taken over. "You ok?" Blake finally asked. "Just. Need to. Catch my. Breath." I said. "Desiree. Look at me princess. Your pale." Justin said.

"Please get me out of here." I said. They both did just that. Once outside they both sat on my sides one rubbing my back while the other massaged my knee. "Baby. Were you panicking?" Blake asked. "No." I answered. "Anxiety?" Justin asked. I nodded. "You did good up there. We don't have to do that again." Blake reassured me. I nodded. They both kissed my forehead. "Let's get to the ranch before they start to wonder where we are." Justin said. I nodded before following them.

Multiple times during the evening I absolutely had to step outside to calm my nerves. Blake and Justin finally took me into my office. ""You did good today princess." Justin said. I nodded. "No attack." Blake said. "Not yet. My nerves are still going crazy from before hand. That I might have a full on attack at any given moment." I said. They both wrapped me in their arms. "We've got you princess. There's no way you can have an attack with us around." Justin said. Later it was the last dance of the night. Both Justin and Blake were about to lead me onto the floor when my skin ran cold and the glistening returned

I knew my skin was paler than when Justin pointed it out earlier. "Desiree." I looked up seeing Alex in front of me. "Your anxiety is about to explode if you don't let it take over." He said. I nodded. "Remember what Thomas said. If your nerves won't let you have a good time and want to panic let them panic first." He said. I nodded. When they both were next to me I told them I had to go to the house. They didn't question it as I went straight to the house. Once the door was closed I sat down on the couch and had a complete meltdown.

I couldn't keep it in much longer. I let my anxiety take over sending shockwaves and sweat to every pore of my body. I then took my heels off and laid out on the couch. Me zoning out was the last thing I remembered.