Evan and Connor

Warning:

Suicide attempt, (kind of ) depression

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Evan's POV

Evan was at his bedroom, laying on his bed. It was a really bad day for him. He was feeling alone. He was feeling like no one would notice if he suddenly disappear.

"The world would be better if I was dead" He thought.

He looked at the mirror. All he saw was an useless person.

"Why am I still alive? Nobody really likes me. I wouldn't make difference. I'm ugly... I'm useless... I'm nothing..." He whispered to himself.

Evan looked at through the window. There were a lot of kids having fun together. They seemed to be really close friends.

"I have no friends. I know that there's Jared but I feel like he is not really my friend..." Evan said.

He walked across the bedroom and took a picture of him,his father and his mother, smiling a lot. Look at his father's face made him get angry. He threw the picture on the floor, breaking the frame.

He started crying a lot. He couldn't handle his feelings anymore.

"I can't handle with it anymore!" He said.

He went downstairs and left the house.

He walked to a park that was a kind of safe place for him. His favorite spot was a little deeper into the woods, at the shadow of a large oak.

He used to go to this tree every time he felt sad. He even gave a name to it.

Evan always felt a peaceful sensation near the large oak. He didn't know why, but he just felt that way.

He was getting near to his tree. The deeper he got in the forest, the more it seemed that the day was getting dark.

His heart was pounding in his chest.

Evan could feel the hot tears run trough his face. He felt his heart could even explode.

"Why the hell haven't I killed myself yet? I can't do anything right! I'm such a mess..."

Evan, without thinking, started climbing the large oak.

After a few minutes he reached the top. Just looking at the happy people a little away from him. See their happiness just made Evan even madder.

"If I disappear, will someone notice? Of course not! I'm just Evan Hansen... The anxious mess that nobody cares about." He said sadly.

More suicidal thoughts passed through his head. He even felt like there was someone talking to him. A voice inside his head was telling him to jump off.

"Kill yourself. You don't matter. No one likes you. You are just a nothing." The voice said.

Evan couldn't help but cry at the mean words, but he agreed with it all.

"Jump off the tree and everything will be alright. Nobody will suffer with your death and you will never cause trouble again. You have to let go! You know that!" The voice spoke.

Evan nodded in agreement with the voice and closed his eyes.

"I need to do this... I have to jump off..." The boy thought.

His eyes were still shut closed. He took a deep breath and mumbled a "Goodbye world" before jumping off the large oak.

When he was falling, he felt a weird feeling of happiness and freedom at the same time. He felt like everything would be alright. He was happy to think that he wasn't going to wake up.