Deadpool 2 X Reader

Your P.O.V

Your boots squeaked as you trudged up the stairs of your apartment building, feet barely skidding higher than a centimeter above each step.  Slightly behind you, your duffel bag, filled with your most recent winnings, as well as a few weapons, clunked heavily on the wooden stairs.  After completing your most recent job and collecting the reward, you were exhausted.  Killing could really take a lot out of a person; for the victim their life and for the killer, their energy.  Granted one side got a less than ideal end result but as long as you weren't the one dying, you were down for a good, little murder.

You reached into your pocket, feeling past the various weapons and Polaroid picture you had kept, until you finally heard the familiar jingle of your key ring.  Pulling it out, you inserted the rusted key into the equally rusted door and turned it hard.  The door tried resisting but soon a soft click informed you that the door was unlocked.  Stepping into your domain, you quickly closed the door and locked it.

Once the lock was secure, you kicked off your shoes, exposing your sweaty socks, and looked around at your undisturbed property.  "Ah another day to bless that big man in the sky for not having been robbed."  Ever since Wade had been gone, you had felt almost a sort of obligation to filling the silences with somewhat witty comments.  Sort of as if that audience Wade always seemed to address was real.  You shook your head.  No.  Even in the world filled with superheroes and villains, having an invisible audience was kind of stretching the realm of belief.

Your shook your head slightly and blinked, throwing your train of thought off its rails.  Some topics weren't worth diving into.  Instead, you lifted your free arm, the one not carrying the duffel bag, and sniffed your armpit.  The aroma of sweat made you cringe.  You needed a shower bad.  But in all honestly, that shower could wait until morning.  You were too tired to care.  Besides, there was no one you needed to impress.

Walking to the middle of the room, you lifted off a small portion of a white sheet that was covering your latest surprise for Wade when he got back.  Unzipping the bag with your latest earnings, you dumped its contents under the sheet and covered it back up.  Outside you heard the creaking of brakes as a car stopped nearby.  "I swear to god if it's those pimps again."  You said, flopping down onto the sofa.  You grabbed the remote and switched it on to whatever cartoon you could find.

You could hear a single pair of footsteps it was walking up the stairs now.  You turned back to the screen, sipping on a soda.  You weren't concerned.  Plenty of people came and went from the building and not all of them tried to break in.  Besides, in this care, if they did try and break in, there was only one of them.  Setting the soda down, you looked up slightly and gave a hearty burp.  Suddenly, a loud bang could be heard downstairs as something heavy was dropped.  But what really caught your attention was the series of familiar curses that followed. It was Wade.

Quickly, you jumped up from the sofa, heart surging.  Wade was finally back, after 6 weeks that sucker was finally back.  However, after your day at work, your legs had apparently decided they could move properly no longer.   As made your way the the peephole in the door, you ended up stumbling like a drunk man rather than walking.  Slamming into the wall next to the door, you looked out the small glass window into the hallway.  Sure enough, the familiar slit-house of your boyfriend could be seen, making his way up the stairs.  "Oh F*ck!"  You said, looking around the messy apartment.

The piles of dirty dishes, unwashed laundry, stacks of pornos you didn't have time to hide away lay scattered in no particular order all around the apartment.  Heck, there was even a stack of stale nachos from your movie night with Vanessa last Friday.  On top of that, you were still an un-showered mess, even wearing the same assassin uniform you had on earlier.  After a second of thinking, you decided the best you could do was try and cover up your lack of personal care.  You quickly launched yourself from the apartment door, taking off towards the bathroom in search of deodorant or perfume.  Heck, you'd even wear cologne if Wade owned any.

Nearly knocking the bathroom door off it's hinges, you made your way inside and began to search frantically.  Like the rest of the house, the bathroom was in utter shambles, bottles of empty and near empty shampoos, lotions, and shaving cream scattered across the floor.  Unfortunately, none of it was what you were looking for. 

Running back into the front room again, you looked around one last time as the lock of the door clicked and the doorknob began to turn.  Spotting a somewhat still new air freshener on the bookshelf, you grabbed it and, leapt onto the sofa, shoulder hitting the soft cushions.  Swiftly, you tucked the air freshener under a pillow, just next to your armpit as you lay in a 'paint me like one of your french girls' position.  This would have to do for now.  Then, putting on the sexiest face you could attempt, glanced at the door.

A/N: Alright so here's finally where the movie meets this story.  I hope you guys aren't too upset that there isn't a lot of Y/N and Wade action yet but just wait for the next chapter :3!  Also, I know most of you are coming from my first Deadpool x Reader book so if you notice any inconsistencies I make during my writing feel free to tell me!
~ <3 <3 ApocalypseRaccoon