Deadpool 2 X Reader

Your P.O.V

Your eyes locked with Wade's as he entered the room and you struggled to keep from grinning.  He seemed surprised to lock eyes whilst entering and stared back.  "A-am I in trouble?"  He asked jokingly, a crooked smile on his face.  You however, remained stone-faced and Wade frowned.  "Oh ok.  Well, sorry I'm late."  He began, his mind whirring as the excuses began to flow out.  "There was a bunch of handi-capable children stuck in a tree and I had to-". Wade stopped as he noticed your right eyebrow slowly rise in congruence with his story.

"You're right.  I was fighting a caped badass.  Then I learned his mother's name was also Martha too!"  Wade nodded at you and once again, raising his arms up and down as if hyping up a crowd.  You supper your smile and spoke, voice shaking from internal laughter.  "Gone 6 weeks and you only fought a guy with mommy issues?"  "Hey!"  Wade yelled, pointing his finger at you.  Then in a much calmed voice, added, "There was quite a lot of traffic too."

You couldn't contain you smile any longer.  Shifted your legs off the armrest, you swung them to the floor.  As you made your way over to your boyfriend, he dislodged the duffel bag from his shoulder and dropped it to the floor.  Swooping you up in a laughter-induced hug, Wade spoke, his voice muffled by your shoulder.  "Hey beautiful.  Missed ya."  Tipping your head upwards, you gave his a quick kiss on the lips.  "Missed ya too ugly."
 
Wade grabbed your shoulders the pushed you back slightly, looking you over as if he was seeing you for the first time.  You only grinned and spoke.  "So how was your little tour?  Explore the sights of...". You thought for a moment then tilted your head.  "Where did you go anyway?"  Wade let go of you and bent down, picking up his bag.  "Who cares?"  Wade closed the door behind him with his foot.  "All I care is that I was paying the bills!"  Turning to the counter, Wade swept a pile of dirty dishes to the side and upturned the duffel.  Stacks of bills fell out and hit the table with a soft clumping sound while, the few loose bills in the bag, floated down softly beside them.

"A clean 20,000 dolloro."  Wade said.  You didn't bother to correct his poor attempt at Spanish.  He had watched enough adult Dora porn (an actual thing for some reason) to know what dollar war in Spanish.  Instead you scoffed at him.  "Ha!  That's cute.  I got 19,500."  Before Wade could could comment, you raised your finger and added, "And it's all packaged in a sexy little surprise."  You gestured to the sheet-covered mound in the middle of the room.  You were surprised Wade hadn't asked about it earlier.  But of course, the look on his face now was far from disinterested.  "You want it?"  You asked.  Wade blinked a few time, a look of euphoria on his face.  "Do I look like a patient burn victim?"  He asked, taking eager steps to the white mass.  Walking over to the white sheet behind him, you dramatically pulled it as hard as you could, revealing an expensive hot tub filled with your latest earnings.

Wade's mouth began a pattern of dropping open and quickly closing as he tried to formulate words.  "Does this mean....  Scrooge Mcf*ck style?"  He gasped.  You grinned and nodded.  "Grab your bathing suit baby!  We got some dry bills to swim in!"  You said, tossing his bright yellow speedo at his face.  "Won't be dry for long."  Wade retorted.  You raised an eyebrow.  "Oh?  Is that so?  So that means your showering first?  You do stink."  "Haha very funny."  Wade said, stripping down behind the sofa.  "Look who's talking air freshener girl."  He said, looking down at the air freshener tucked behind the pillow.

You felt your face heat up.  "Hey!  I was at work all day man!" You crossed your arms across your body defensively.  Wade laughed and straightened up, now dressed only in his bathing suit.  "Well nevertheless moncherie,". Wade said, picking up the air-freshener and placing it on the edge of the tub.  "Care for a sensual night of buttf*cking and romance?"  Wade rolled the letter r and bent over to the sofa table, switching on a lava lamp the two of you used to set the mood. 

"Well hold I I have to get dressed."  You said, walking near the window where your suit was hanging.  As you began to unzip your uniform, you noticed a cap parked just below.  "Hey Wade?  Isn't that Dopender?"  You commented, stripping down into just your underwear.  Out of curiosity, Wade made his way over to the window and looked out.  "Huh!  Guess I forgot to tell him to leave..."  You turned to Wade. "Should we tell him?"  Wade looked from the hot tub to you then down to the taxi before finally shrugging.  "Eh.  He'll figure it out."  Wade said, walking back to the tub.  "Now come on!  I can only keep this cold cash so warm by myself!"

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!  Sorry for publishing so late though!  I was out all day and just got back.  I'm so exhausted.  Anyway, I'll post again next week!  Thank you guys so much for all your support!
~ <3 <3 ApocalypseRaccoon