Things that I would like to say to you but I can't

Today was the day that I've lost everything.
I felt so useless and no one even cared. 
I used to tell myself that I'm not new to this. 
Yet, I felt so worthless and felt scared.

I fell into the pit of insecurities. 
A restless mind and a wounded heart.
I've always wished to be someone better.
But, I guess that I was wrong again. 

Who would've thought that it's all a facade?
Just like thunder and lightning, better heard and seen. 
But, whatever's inside me has been kept deep. 
I wish I knew how to handle things easily. 

I seriously am afraid that I might die alone.
And I'm so scared to start from the very beginning. 
The moment that I gave my all, it felt like I'm losing it. 
Now, back to the darkness, where I truly belong.

Oh, I'd rather be honest with everything.
I am done with playing it safe. 
Do know that these words are just battle cries. 
Wishing someone could hear me, that's all I can say.

I'm dying for someone who can pick me up,

back here, where it all started.