I Hate You, Don't Go

Ravens POV;

He loved me... How could he love such a beast? Had his feelings really been so obvious in the past? Maybe. But I was to focused on me. On my own demise, my own feelings, and my own worries that I didn't give him much consideration.

And even as I stood here after just kissing Garfield, I couldn't help but think that I was going at this all wrong. Because in the long run, he was going to get crushed.

I took his hands in mine, rubbing small circles with my thumbs onto his hands. "I don't want to hurt you." I said, beginning to sound like a broken record. But he quickly put his finger to my lips to silence me from going on.

"I don't care if I get hurt, Rae. I much rather spend the time you have left with you. Do you not understand that if you push me away now- that is only going to hurt me more? I'll suffer the whole time, having to see you suffer. And I won't be able to help you. And then after you do leave, I'll be stuck to melt down, crash, and burn." He hesitantly took a step forward and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him, but never breaking eye contact. "I want to be able to hold you when you're weak- and tell you that everything is going to be okay. I want to be able to make everything better- and comfort you when you need it. I want to be able to make you smile, and make you happy- in this little time that we have left." He smiled softly at me, "please, Mama."

"And what if I did push you away now?" I asked, my voice small.

"I'll just keep coming back, Rae." He shook his head and let out a sigh, leaning his forehead to mine. "I'm tired of not being able to be close to you. I'm tired of hiding all of my feelings... "

"Beast-"

"Raven, I love you." He whispered. "Please, let me have this. Don't push me away." He closed his eyes, "please, Rae."

Just hearing him say it made me smile. This goofy green guy, who just happened to be incredibly handsome, loved me. And I loved him. And no one could take that from us.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "and I love you, Garfield." I whispered.

He brushed his lips gently to mine, a smile on his lips as he pulled away. "We should probably get back to the party, huh?" He asked quietly.

He let go of each other and made out way back to the party. Beast Boy sat at a table with his food, and I went to join Starfire. Robin soon left to go hang out with Beast Boy, Leaving me alone with star as we danced on the floor.

"I am all the sorry for telling your secret." She apologized sincerely. "But none of us wanted to lose you."

"It's okay, StarFire." I said with a smile, "you did it out of kindness."

She nodded, smiling happily. "So how are the things with you and Beast Boy?"

I looked over at Garfield who was talking to Cyborg and Robin now. By their expressions, he was keeping it low key, which was perfectly fine with me.

"Nothing new." I said with a shrug.

"But he loves you." She said sadly. "You should really tell him how you feel."

I shook my head, "in the end this will be best for him." I said. "Being friends is as much as I can give him." It shocked me how true it was, and it hurt me to know that's what I should have done. I never should have let things get any farther then just being friends.

But I wanted more.

"So tell me Raven." She said as she took a seat on the edge of the fountain. "How did you get beast boys Soul back?"

I sighed and sat next to her, dragging my hand through the water. "I have my father the pleasure of knowing that I would continue on the Demon legacy." My heart squeezed at the thought.

"Wait." She said, turning to me, "you gave up nearly your whole life for him? Just to save him..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, "let's face it, we all know how much I care for Garfield. And there was no way I was going to wake up every day knowing he was here but he wasn't here." I looked up at her. "I was selfish- and I saved him for my own needs. It was sad, and pathetic. And some how everyone thinks I'm a hero for saving him. When in reality- it was all for myself." I admitted honestly.

Because I was selfish. And that was exactly why I had grabbed his soul. I didn't have much time left, only a few years at max, and I wanted to be able to see beast boy, or at least see him happy and living his life. I wasn't going to ruin his life die to my mistakes. It was time to be a big girl and own up to my life.

"Raven." She said softly as she set a hand on my exposed leg, "you know when Beast Boy finds out he's not going to be happy.."

"He already knows." Her face scrunched together. "He asked me to be his for the last bit of time that I had left and I rejected him."

"Raven!" She yelled.

"Starfire." I said calmly. "This is how it has to be." I stood up and approached the table, sitting in the open chair next to beast boy.

And as I sat down, Robin and Cyborg peeled out of their seats, leaving us without even looking at me. "What did you tell them?"

"I figured you wouldn't want anyone to know. So i explained what you did to get my soul back, and told then you refused me in every shape and form." He smiled faintly at me.

"So they're pissed at me?" I turned to look at them to only see them standing across the dance floor glaring in my direction.

"They're going I feel like jerks when they figure out the truth." He said quietly, sipping from his straw. "What did you tell Star?"

"Basically the same thing." I smiled. "I'm sorry things have to be so complicated. And to put it on the records, I sill don't think this is right."

"What's not right?"

"Us being together." I said sadly. "I still feel like we should have stayed friends... That this will only complicate things..." I looked up at his worried face, his hand finding min winder the table. "But I'm to selfish to let you go."

His face instantly turned to one of surprise. "You're not going to tell me to leave you alone?"

"No." I breathed. "I'm done with that." I squeezed his hand but quickly pulled it away and stood up. "Should we make it look like we hate each other?"

Garfield smiled and nodded, "probably make it more convincing, huh?"

"I'm going to slap you, I'll see you later at the tower?" I said quietly. He nodded and took in a breathe. "Just leave me alone!" I shouted loudly, slapping him hard across the face. His face jerked to the side. I turned on my heals and stalked off.

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So my 抖阴社区 is being stupid lately and not saving my stuff. I wrote this like 20 times. >_>