Typical [L.P. + N.H. + A.I.]

Jess' POV

When we were kids, everything seemed either so big or so easy. Everything was simpler. All we cared about is playing and having fun, without care. When we've grown up, things get more complicated. Things start having different meanings, between misunderstandings and people not saying what they feel, not accepting what they feel, saying things they don't mean, doing things they don't mean. Why though? Why do we feel like we can't just be honest? What are we scared of? Being judged? Rejected? Mocked? It's not always that. Sometimes, we're actually scared of being happy. Because, mostly due to personal experiences, all of our past failures, all of the pain, we just scared that being happy just means we actually have something to lose, something that will cause more pain. But we're barely not even halfway there yet. As we grow older, is it going to stay this complicated? Is it going to stay this confusing? Or will it all make sense?

The doorbell interrupts my writing. I really don't feel like being around people today.

'Hey, Liam. What do you want? Not really in the mood today!'

Liam's POV

'Are you okay? You look like you've been crying.'

'I'm fine. What's up?' She says walking back to the sitting room.

I let myself in, closing the door behind me.

'What happened?' I ask, pulling her into a hug, she starts crying.

I run my hand through her hair, trying to calm her down. She was doing so well lately, happy and smiling all the time, hanging out with Niall and Louis and me, she was even out with Harry yesterday. I hate seeing her so broken, it's even worse than when she was numb.

'Do you want to talk about it?' I ask as she pulls away.

'There's nothing to talk about.' She says glumly. 'What did you came here for?' She asks with a smile on her face.

'Well, we're having a game night me and the boys, thought you'd like to join. You don't have to. But it could be fun. Better than sulking here alone.'

'The boys being?'

'You know, Louis, Harry and Niall.'

'Fine. Give me 5 minutes.'

She goes to the bathroom and I wait for her in the sitting room. When she comes back, she's looking better, at least it doesn't look like she's been crying. She's smiling again, but the look in her eyes is kinda freaking me out actually. She's not okay, but she's pretending she is. I wish she would just tell me what's wrong. Hopefully, she'll tell Niall, they seem to have gotten closer over the last few weeks, and they tell each other their secrets. She chugs the rest of the open can of beer that was sitting on the table, closes her laptop, grabs her phone and keys, and then we go back to my apartment.

'Hi, guys!' She greets everyone excitedly then goes straight to the kitchen and comes back to the sitting room where we were with another beer.

'What's with all the drinking today? You don't usually drink that much...' I ask her.

'Liam. I can do whatever I want. And what I want, is drink. Okay? Okay.' She says with a smile on her face. I'm really worried about her.

'Are you okay, love?' Louis asks her.

'I'm awesome! So, game night! What are we playing?'

'I think we should play figure out what's wrong with Jess?' Louis says and I glare at him.

'Maybe, you should play Elsa, and just let it go!' She throws back with the same weird smile on her face.

After that, we just ignored it for now and played some random board games that I had laying around.