Typical [L.P. + N.H. + A.I.]

7.4 - Trial and Error - Fire Away

'It's okay. We'll just put a random movie on Netflix?'

'Yeah, that always works.'

Jess' POV

Sitting next to Niall, eating and watching a movie, a day or two before one of us has to leave? Sounds familiar? I can't help but think back at that moment. Cuddling with Niall. How comfortable I was in his arms. How happy I was, just a few seconds before he ripped my heart to shreds. Sometimes I forget that those two are the same people. The kind, loving caring guy who's one of my best friends. And the guy who broke my heart. How can they be the same person?

'What are you thinking about? You're not finishing your food.' Niall asks me snapping me out of my head.

'What?'

'What's wrong, Jess?'

'Nothing.'

'Jess. Please.'

'Okay, okay... it just this reminded me of the last time I saw you in London. And how badly it went.'

'But it's not gonna happen again. We're in a better place now. We're friends and you have a boyfriend and you're happy with him.'

'Ha! Right!' I sneer.

'What?' He asks with a genuine concerned look on his face, 'you are happy with him, right? Please tell me you are.'

'I don't know Niall. I thought things are getting better. But, I don't know... I'm confused. In a very bad way. Like I'm starting to hate myself bad.'

My thoughts are starting to betray me. I'm sitting here with Niall, and all I can think about is finding an excuse so that he'd hug me. I need to feel his arms tight around me. Gently stroking my back, with him whispering in my ear, everything is gonna be alright. Why am I thinking about Niall? Ashton is my boyfriend. I love Ashton. Does he love me though? It's my second to last day, I know for a fact he was completely free all day long. He's lying to me and avoiding me on purpose.

'I can't help feeling like it's gonna end soon. I don't want it to end Niall. But it's like he's given up. I mean today, we were supposed to spend the day together. Instead, he wakes up earlier than usual, gets out of the house without even telling me, and when I text him to ask where is he, he doesn't even give me a straight answer. He's lying to me! And I don't even know why!'

'I'm sure he has his reasons. Just ask him when you see him tonight. I'm sure he'll be straightforward. It's gonna be okay. You guys will be okay because you love each other. You're gonna get through this.'

'I don't think there's anything left to fight for. From now on, we're just a ticking time bomb. I don't want to break up with him. But I know now that it's inevitable. But I don't want to let it go. I don't know. I Don't know what to do Niall! I don't want to lose him but at the same time, I feel like I already did. Waking up this morning expecting him to be there but not finding him there? It felt like... I don't even know how to describe how bad it felt.'

And that's when I break down. I tried holding on as much as I could, but I just can't anymore. I start crying my eyes out, and almost instinctively, Niall wraps his arms around me. He pulls me in tightly, but at the same time, his hand is softly stroking my back. 

He whispers, 'It's going to be okay, Jess. I promise. Everything will be okay. It might be bad now, but it won't always be bad. Things will be good again. Maybe not in the way you want them to now, but it will be just as good if not more. For now, just cry it out, let it all out. But always remember, it's going to be okay.'

I empty the reservoir in my eyes, and when I'm done, I pull away from his embrace feeling much better. I guess sometimes you need a good cry and a good hug. And honestly, Niall gives out the best hugs ever!

'I wouldn't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for you.' I add.

'It's what best friends are for, darling! I'm here for you, just like you were here for me a few days ago! I mean, you did so much more for me than I did for you, I hugged you, you helped me write a song! That's a huge deal!'

'Did you show it to Julian? What did he say?'

'He loved it! We continued working on it and it's pretty much done!'

'Niall! That's amazing! And are you going to add it to the album? I mean not all the songs you write make it to the album...'

'True, but this one is definitely going in there.'

'Really? Everyone liked it?'

'Yeah! I'm so excited about it!'

'Well, I'm glad!'

'By the way! Forgot to ask, since it's going there. Do you want your name to be added in the list of songwriters for the song?'

'Hmm... I don't know... I'm not really a songwriter...'

'But you did help a lot! From conception to lyrics and even the melody! You made a huge contribution! You're literally the reason why this song exists. I'd feel bad not to credit you in some way... If you don't want your name on it, it's fine... I understand, but I will be putting a virtual name instead. I'm crediting you either way.'

'Alright, if you think it's a good idea to add my name on it... why not.'

'Great! I'll tell them on Monday!'